Atheist Fag

Fundamentalism: Public Enemy Number One

Posted on September 11th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Religious Wingnuts, editorials, hypocrite evangelists.

Six years ago today the world was handed a fresh reminder of the evil that results from the kind of fanatical religious beliefs called Fundamentalism. Although it was Islamic Fundamentalists that used their hatred and intolerance to justify the horrors of September 11, only a few hours passed before Christian Fundamentalists began to cash in on the horror of that day and use it to promote their agenda of intolerance and social injustice.

Pond scum like Pat Robertson and the still-dead Jerry Falwell hastened to blame the proponents of civil rights for women and gay people for the horrors that were actually perpetrated by their cousins that spread hatred in mosques instead of churches. They used this tragedy to increase their cash flow and bolster the idiocy of the fools that follow them because they fail to see the villainy that is always part and parcel of fundamentalist religious dogma.

According to Wiktionary, fundamentalism in the theological context is

A conservative movement in theology among 19th century and 12th century Christians, in reaction to modernism and that stresses the infallibility of the Bible not only in matters of faith and morals but also as a literal historical record, holding as essential to Christian faith belief in such doctrines as the creation of the world, the virgin birth, physical resurrection, atonement by the sacrificial death of Christ, and the Second Coming.

Fundamentalist Islamists hate Christians because their brand of stupidity is the One True Religion and no other should be tolerated, while Fundamentalist Christians hate Muslims because their brand of stupidity is the One True Religion and no other should be tolerated.

The lesson that should be learned from 9/11 is very clear and easy to understand. As a species, if we wish to survive, it is long past the time when we should all join together and “Just say NO to Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddies”.

Have you ridiculed a religion yet today?

Technorati Tags: terr’ism, fundamentalism, stupidity, 9/11 anniversary, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Osama bin Laden, Al Quaeda, Islam, Christianity, religion, Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy

0 comments.

Failed Would-Be Lawyer Drops Lawsuit Over Bar Exam

Posted on September 8th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, editorials.

A Massachusetts man afflicted with a severe case of Catholicism has dropped his blatantly idiotic lawsuit over the bar exam he failed for refusing to answer a question about gay marriage law because he is a stupid homophobic wanker.

Stephen Dunne bravely refused to answer an evil Satanic bar exam question that referred to the dreadfully scary existence of gay people. He then made the preposterous claim that answering the test question would have violated his Catholic faith and his First Amendment rights, because it would imply his support of gay marriage and parenting.  This man actually intended to be an attorney at law, but he seemed to have a prerequisite that the State of Massachusetts stick its head in the sand along with him and pretend, ever so intensely, that there really are no gay people at all.

Mr Dunne seems to prefer a society in which ancient superstitions are used as the basis for civil law. He apparently requires a social structure in which the most popular religious delusion in the local area is forced into the laws that apply to everyone. Perhaps he might enjoy Saudi Arabia or Iran, in those countries the idiotic religion IS the law.

Technorati Tags: Stephen Dunne, homophobia, Catholic Church, bar exam, Massachusetts, stupid wanker, useless idiot, fucking moron

0 comments.

Republican Comedian Craig Guilty, Not Guilty, Resigning, Not Resigning

Posted on September 6th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Your favorite Republican stand-up comic, US Senator Larry Craig, has issued a denial of his denial that he is not resigning as a non-guilty, guilty pervo Repugnican toilet seat sniffer. He claims that he never inhaled.

“I never had sex with that police officer,” Craig roared to a standing room only crowd at the Boise Improv last night. The Boise Chamber of Commerce reports that hotel rooms and inbound airline seats to the Idaho capital have been hard to get since Craig started his twice nightly standup routine. Tickets on flights routed through Minneapolis are simply impossible to obtain.

Nightly performances take place on a specially constructed set with 4 urinals and 3 adjacent bathroom stalls. The scantily clad Senator gets the crowd roaring early in each set with his patented “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay” as he stares at his police officer straight man assistant. In his International Male jock strap and leather chaps the 62 year old Senator has become an iconic sex object in the Idaho gay community.

Certain Hollywood insiders close to this column have let slip an unconfirmed rumor that the Senator will be doing a comedy/variety show on Fox TV next season, featuring guests from the Log Cabin Republicans and various Colorado Springs churches and hate groups.

As Craig continues to perform to sold out crowds at the Boise Improv, the favorite part of his act seems to be the way he keeps saying “Guilty”, then turns his head the other way and says “Not Guilty.”

Concerns have been expressed that his nearly nude appearance onstage might weaken Family Values in Idaho, but Craig responded by repeating his trademark line “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay”. Craig lives just outside Boise in his own Private Idaho.

Technorati Tags: Comedy, Party of Jesus, Larry Craig, Senator Fag, I’m not gay, Family Values, Idaho, guilty, not guilty, resigning, not resigning, toilet sex, US Senate

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US Senator Larry Craig (Party of Jesus) Video on Family Values

Posted on August 28th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Mor[m]ons, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Party of Jesus Senator Larry Craig, who was arrested in June for soliciting gay sex in a men’s restroom at the Minneapolis - St. Paul International Airport, is a strong supporter of Mitt Romney and Family Values. We wonder if it was Mitt’s Magic Underwear that formed the basis of the bond between these two famous homophobes.

Unfortunately his little video bit expressing his support for Magic Underwear Mitt seems to have been disappeared from the Mitt Romney Mormons for Homophobia Campaign Site. We found it though:

Apparently when he is not busy bashing fags for Jesus, old Larry likes to have a go in the poo poo room.

They are very proud of Larry back in Idaho. Here is a page that brags about Larry and warns people about gays having sex in restrooms. The good folks at the Idaho Values Alliance want you to be careful in public restrooms. You never know when you might be propositioned by a Repugnican Senator.

Technorati Tags: Larry Craig, hypocrite, Repugnican, closet case, Family Values, Mitt Romney, Magic Underwear, hypocrisy, Idaho Values Alliance, Homophobia, Airport sex, restroom sex, Party of Jesus, Senate, Senator

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Presbyterian Minister Guilty of Gay Wedding Charge

Posted on August 25th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, hypocrite evangelists.

The Regional Judicial Committee of the Presbyterian Church for the United States of America has returned a guilty verdict against a minister for failure to meet minimum fag and dyke hate levels. Rev. Jane Spahr of San Rafael, CA promoted the Homosexual Agenda and made the Baby Jesus cry when she officiated at 2 lesbian weddings, the court found. Ms. Spahr, who is herself a Friend of Dorothy, intends to retire soon.

The ruling, which was delivered late Thursday by certified mail to lawyers for Ms. Spahr and the church, reverses a lower tribunal’s decision in March 2006 that she acted within her rights as an ordained minister when she married two evil, sinful, horrible lesbian couples in 2004 and 2005.

The court did not specify how many eternities Ms Spahr would have to spend in Hell for failing to hate herself and other lesbians according to minimum Presbyterian malice standards. Usually promoting the Homosexual Agenda results in a range of 83 to 451 eternities spent in the 18th level of Hell, at this points level the evil doer is forced to watch Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blame the dykes and fags for 9/11 on an endless tape loop on a Sony 52″ plasma TV with the volume up so loud you can hear the faithful cheer for each hatemongering lie.

By the way, Jerry Falwell is still dead and there are many folks anxiously awaiting the Good News of Robertson’s oft-hoped for demise. If Robertson and Falwell knew all along it was the fags and the dykes that were planning the 9/11 attacks, then why did they fail to issue warnings before 3,000 innocent people were killed? This sounds like a conspiracy to aid and abet terr’ists to me!

But back to that gol darn minister for a minute. Whatever was she thinking, going about destroying the Sanctity of Marriage like that? For 6,000 years, the entire history of the Universe, every heterosexual marriage was sacred until Ms Spahr had to ruin it for everybody by completely, totally, and irreversibly destroying the Sanctity of Marriage for all time.

There is just no use anymore in any straight people getting married because this lady has ruined it for everybody. It’s too late now. What with more than 1 gay marriage having been blessed by a Presbyterian minister already, the world might as well end now. It’s all over except for Jesus coming back pissed off and shooting nukular Weapons of Mass Destruction from his nostrils like sacred snot of destruction. Then those gol darn homos and lesbos will learn a thing or two. Like, for example, don’t get Jesus pissed off. Or else.

The sky also fell too, just in case you did not notice.

Technorati Tags: gay rights, civil rights, dumbass religions, equal rights, Presbyterian, Jane Spahr, Sanctity of Marriage, equal rights, homosexual agenda, San Rafael

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Kreationist Klown Museum Shows Gay Adam in Video

Posted on June 8th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Sighince, Religious Wingnuts, Sighintifik Resurch.

Extreme panic struck at the newly opened Kreationist Klown Museum in Trailer Park, KY this week when it was discovered that the actor featured as Adam in one of their idiot-drool videos is possibly a gay man who once appeared with a drag queen on a sex-related website named BedroomAcrobat.com (currently slashdotted, it would seem). Buff hunk actor Eric Linden may actually like Steve a bit more than Eve. Oh no, RUN AWAY.

This is too rich, just entirely too rich. A nice story, mind you. Still, it seems richly deserving that the Kreationist Klown Museum may have hired a fairy to tell their fairy tales. Let us bask in the irony of this wonderfully funny news item as we giggle, behind our hands of course, at the panicked reaction of the Kreationist Klowns who have pulled the video that might possibly feature a gay man playing the role of the fairy-tale Adam.

Maybe there really is justice in this world, albeit usually as well concealed as an Iraqi WMD.

Technorati Tags: Adam, Steve, Eric Linden, Garden of Eden, Kreationist Klown Museum, fairies, fairy tales, Creationism, Adam and Steve, Adam and Eve

0 comments.

Poland Investigates Homo Agenda Teletubbies

Posted on May 28th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic.

Jerry Fartwell might be dead, but his brand of astonishing stupidity and boundless intolerance lives on in modern day Poland, a homophobe’s dream nation.

A Polish government official named Ewa Sowinska has asked psychologists to investigate the Teletubbies based on the fact that known homosexual activist Tinky Winky carries a red purse.

Poland is deeply infested with Catholicism, so intolerance and homophobia are to be expected. Fast action is required before Polish infants begin practicing gay sex acts with their Teletubbies crib toys. With the BBC actively recruiting Polish children to adopt the red purse lifestyle, a return to Communism is no doubt just around the corner. They’re all in it together, everybody knows that. We may have to nuke London.

Technorati Tags: Tinky Winky, Teletubbies, BBC, Poland, Polish Government, homosexual agenda, homosexual propaganda, gay infants, Ewa Sowinska, Catholicism

1 comment.

God Hates Mixed Fibers

Posted on May 22nd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Religious Wingnuts.

A Spanish retail clothing chain has been forced to recall a line of men’s suits because idiotic orthodox Jews got very pissy and whiny over the fact that the clothing was made with a combination of linen and wool. Oh no, run away! These wankers believe that their Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy hates mixed fibers. Not content to just refrain from buying such clothing because God Hates Mixed Fibers, these religious imperialists required the clothing chain to completely remove the offending garments from their stores, denying atheists and other less deluded types the opportunity to buy such items as well.

This case clearly illustrates the sort of problems rampant in all 3 of the abysmally stupid Abrahamic religious delusions. Those afflicted with these idiotic beliefs are not content just to avoid wearing clothing that will get them cast into the eternal hell of fires burning oil stolen from Iraq, they feel a compulsion to force everybody to wear clothing they endorse.

If some Jewish people want to belong to idiotic cults with moronic ideas about fictional deities, good for them. They can delude themselves about anything their hearts desire. We support their right to aspire to stupidity and idiocy. But if they don’t mind very much, I’d prefer to decide which sorts of seafood I eat, clothing I wear, and if it is not too much of an inconvenience for them, I might even wish to decide with whom I will and will not have consensual sex. I’ll even trim the corners of my fucking beard, if it’s not too much of a hassle for them.

It’s no wonder God Hates Fundamentalists.

Technorati Tags: God Hates, mixed fibers, crustaceans, barbers, Orthodox, abraham, dumbass religions

2 comments.

Are Mitt Romney and Tom Cruise Secret Gay Lovers?

Posted on May 3rd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Mor[m]ons, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Mitt Romney recently revealed that his favorite book of all time was the psychotic ravings of L Ron Hubbard in Battlefield Earth, the proto-Bible of the Scientologist cult of which Tom Cruise is a well known member. This furtive admission by would-be warmonger Romney finally allows us to connect certain details of Mitt’s lifestyle choice and that of the famous Mr Cruise.

As Ted Haggard clearly demonstrated for the world last fall, those who protest most vehemently against homosexuals are often the folks with the deepest and darkest closet spaces. It is a well known fact that Tom Cruise has an entire army of attorneys just waiting to sue anyone who suggests he is a bit light in the loafers. And Mitt Romney has been struggling for many years to portray himself as the most viciously and vehemently homophobic of all the Party of Jesus Presidential candidates.

So let us examine the known facts, Tom Cruise poses as an actor in order to distract people from his Scientologist agenda, while Mitt Romney poses as a Mor[m]on so folks won’t guess that he is a follower L Ron Hubbard. One must admit that it is a fairly clever ploy on Romneys part to conceal his membership in one psychotic and abusive cult by claiming to be a member of a somewhat older but more violent death cult.

Many have postulated that Mitt Romney and Tom Cruise are actually secret gay lovers. In order to evaluate this claim, since both well known homophobes can be expected to issue forcefully worded denials, let us examine the facts that are available to the general public.

• Mitt Romney claims to be a lifelong hunter
• Tom Cruise appeared in a movie as a vampire, hunting for victims
• As Governor of Massachusetts, Romney used his bully pulpit to harass gays
• Tom Cruise was constantly bullied in school
• Although Tom Cruise often makes donations to political candidates, he has carefully avoided giving money to Romney
• Romney says he’ll expand our Armed Forces if elected, is he secretly planning to hire Top Gun?

When you add up all of the available evidence, and consider what great efforts Mitt Romney and Tom Cruise have gone to in order to avoid being seen together in public, only one conclusion is possible. Still, we wonder which one is the top?

Technorati Tags: Mitt Romney, Ted Haggard, Tom Cruise, gay lovers, Scientology, L Ron Hubbard, closet cases, homosexuality, gay rights, Battlefield Earth, favorite book, Republican, Party of Jesus

2 comments.

Vatican Spews More Anti-Gay Venom

Posted on April 25th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Priest Rape, Rants, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, child rape.

Not that anybody is terribly surprised, but the world-leading organization for raping children and spewing hatred at gay people has let loose some more verbal excrement in their typical whining fashion.

The Vatican’s second-highest ranking doctrinal official on Monday forcefully branded homosexual marriage an evil. Won’t somebody think of the children?

In Australia the boy raping hatemongers are said, quite accurately, to be gay bashers.

In the same hateful rant Archbishop Angelo Amato classified abortion as a form of terrorism

The Archbishop did not have anything to say about Bishops, Archbishops, or Cardinals who conspire to protect and shuffle child molesting priests from one parish to another.

Technorati Tags: Vatican, Archbishop Amato, gay marriage, terrorism, abortion

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