Atheist Fag

Federal Budget For Killing, Not Medical Care for Children

Posted on October 4th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Imperialist wars, Our Glorious Christian Leader, Rants, Repugnicans, Warmongering, editorials.

Our Glorious Christian Leader has bolstered his image as a War President by using his veto power to defeat a bill passed by Congress that would have extended a medical care program (SCHIP) for children. It is better to drop bombs on foreign children than provide medical care for our own children, or so it would seem.

No doubt Our Glorious Christian Leader was inspired by a famous quote from his Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, or Imaginary Son of Imaginary Sky Daddy to be more precise, “Suffer the little cluster bombs to come unto me, for theirs is the Kingdom of Republican war profits”. I think that is how it goes. Compassionate conservative my ass.

Besides, these damn poor kids are too young to be sent overseas time and time again, and then treated like dirt when they come home wounded. By the time they are old enough to be used as cannon fodder, Our Glorious Christian Leader will be back home in Crawford counting his war profit dollars.

Our Glorious Christian Leader is willing to spend ten billion dollars a month to protect exclusive oil rights for the billionaire that is building his Presidential Library, but medical care for our own children is just too big of a burden, since it does not help his war profiteering Fundamentalist Christian cronies. How could anything be more disgusting than Our Glorious Christian Leader?

Technorati Tags: Our Glorious Christian Leader, SCHIP, veto, war profits, Ray Hunt, Bush Library, Iraq war, child care, Party of Jesus

1 comment.

Jammed Fax Machine Provokes Mass Hysteria at Massachusetts Bank

Posted on May 31st, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants, Repugnicans, UnFaux News, editorials.

In Ashland, Massachusetts a fax machine at a Bank of America branch jammed while receiving a fax from the Bank of America marketing department. Graphical images of a lighted match and a bomb with a fuse were visible in the partial fax copy received before the jam. Like good victims of the Fox News Network, the bank employees panicked and called the police in the first hysterical over-reaction in a chain of police-involved hysterical reactions.

By the time that someone had managed to clear the paper jam in the fax machine 15 local businesses had been evacuated, including a day care facility with 30 children at a nearby property. How many parents had to leave work early to go pickup their children? How many innocent children were frightened by this hysterical over-reaction by an Action News afflicted idiot? Film at 11!

Let’s face it, fax machines are evil. There can be no denying the deeply evil nature of a fax machine. In fact only clothes hangers and nuclear weapons are more evil than fax machines, although ink-jet printers are mighty damn annoying. But most fax machines do not usually explode because of a paper jam. Most of the time.

I admit there have been a few times I’ve wanted to pickup a fax machine and throw it with great force against a nearby wall, I hate the fucking things! But this animosity does not translate into fear that easily for me. I’ve never let a fax machine get the better of me for more than a few minutes.

Recently, in order to protect our property from terr’ists, I contracted with a Chicago area firm to receive faxes for me, convert them to digital images, and then email the image to me here in California. I figure as long as the fax machine is 1700 miles away I don’t need to evacuate the property every time some random fax comes in. Hell, I don’t even watch Fox News, so I’m probably not nearly as frightened of my own shadow as I should be. In fact I designed and created UnFox News as an antidote to Fox News, it’s not a propaganda arm of the Republican Party.

You can fax your comments or send voicemail responses to this blog entry using my 1700 mile away fax machine by calling (815) 642-4707. It won’t cause any paper jams and I promise not to panic.

Technorati Tags: mass hysteria, over reaction, Ashland, Bank of America, bomb scare, fax machine, voicemail, Chicago, Fox News, UnFox News, Republican Party

1 comment.

Wake Up and Make The Coffee

Posted on May 15th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants, editorials.

AlterNet is offering a very well written column by Daniel Lazare which starts out asking “What Makes an Atheist Get Out of Bed in the Morning?” For me, it’s the coffee.

Daniel’s column goes on to discuss the increased militance in the atheist community, citing 3 authors in particular who all float my boat, Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Daniel Dennett. Each of these men call into question the base assumptions on which religious fallacies are built, although Dennett is clearly the least militant and most detached of the three.

But none of this is necessary for me, an atheist fag, to get out of bed in the morning. If there had never been a single religious delusion in the history of the Universe, I’d still get up around sunrise and make the coffee. I like coffee. I like really good coffee. And I don’t need the presence or absence of any preposterous belief systems to make it taste any better.

In all fairness to Mr Lazare he was not asking the question literally, of course. His column really asks us what do atheists have to offer to replace religious afflictions. This seems to assume that something should be offered, like giving a mental patient bipolar disorder so they won’t miss their schizophrenia too much.

Religious afflictions are clearly a disorder, a delusional state of mind. The best replacement therapy for delusions is reality. Instead of believing in a promise of 72 virgins that will be awarded as payback for committing mass murder with a passenger plane, people should realize that committing mass murder will only harden the survivors against their killing agenda. There are no magical virgins, no 72 on standby waiting orders from Allah, and no virgin mommies living in the sky.

The correct replacement for religious delusions is reality. We should live in the real world, not imagine that some boogey man wants us to go kill people.

Instead of religion, try standing barefoot in some freshly mowed grass. You don’t need grandiose bullshit to live your life, just take the time to smell the coffee, that’s all.

Technorati Tags: AlterNet, Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Sam Harris, Daniel Lazare, coffee, reality, religious afflictions

0 comments.

Vatican Spews More Anti-Gay Venom

Posted on April 25th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Priest Rape, Rants, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, child rape.

Not that anybody is terribly surprised, but the world-leading organization for raping children and spewing hatred at gay people has let loose some more verbal excrement in their typical whining fashion.

The Vatican’s second-highest ranking doctrinal official on Monday forcefully branded homosexual marriage an evil. Won’t somebody think of the children?

In Australia the boy raping hatemongers are said, quite accurately, to be gay bashers.

In the same hateful rant Archbishop Angelo Amato classified abortion as a form of terrorism

The Archbishop did not have anything to say about Bishops, Archbishops, or Cardinals who conspire to protect and shuffle child molesting priests from one parish to another.

Technorati Tags: Vatican, Archbishop Amato, gay marriage, terrorism, abortion

0 comments.

San Diego Diocese Offers $95 Million to Child Rape Victims

Posted on March 30th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Court Cases, Priest Rape, Rants, Roman Catholic, Schools, child rape.

The San Diego Archdiocese, the regional profit center for the Holy Roman Boy Rape Church, is offering a 95 million dollar payment to settle charges of child molestation involving 140 victims. This number of 140 victims includes only the San Diego area, and only those who came forward with the news that they were raped by an official representative of an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy.

As might be expected from a notoriously anti-human organization like the Boy Rapers, the payments to the victims are offered according to a sliding scale, based on how much their priest was able to get away with before he was rotated to a new area where he had not raped any children, yet.

There is one level of payment for children forced to pose naked for Catholic Priest Porn. The next higher level of reimbursement is for children forced to masturbate for their religious leader. And the victims receiving the highest payout per priest-felony are those who were actually raped by their bingo-profiteering priest.

There is no special payout for victims that were assaulted with a crucifix used as a dildo, nor extra cash for victims raped using other special religious symbols of the Boy Rape Church.

And of course the Holy Roman Boy Rape Church continues with their bizarre policy of pretending their priests don’t have sex, causing the priests to continue to go on the down low and force themselves on innocent children. The masochistic vow of celibacy is the inherent sexual perversion of the Catholic church, as long as they continue to pretend that a person can swear off sex for life and still be emotionally whole, we will continue to hear of children being raped by priests who just can’t keep up the pretense anymore, but are too cynical and evil to approach another adult.

The denial of the facts of human sexuality is at the very core of what is wrong with the Boy Rape Church. It is also a significant contributing factor in these crimes.

Next we need to put the bishops and cardinals that have enabled these crimes behind bars for the crime of racketeering. Together with former Cardinal Ratzinger, now Papa Nazi the Pope who conspired to protect the rapist priests, these criminals should be incarcerated for the rest of their unnatural lives.

Technorati Tags: San Diego, Catholic Church, Child Molesters, Boy Rape, Hypocrisy, Celibacy, Racketeering, Ratzinger, Pope,

0 comments.

Nazi Ratzi: Hell Exists, Deny it and You’ll Go to Hell

Posted on March 27th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, hypocrite evangelists.

Former Hitler Youth and chief financial officer of the Holy Roman Boy Rape Church Nazi Ratzinger, who goes by Pope Benedict XVI when he does drag, has declared in a bitterly nasty sermon that if you deny the existence of Hell, you’re going to go to Hell.

In an article on The Scotsman the afficionado of altar boys is described as having been furious, and unleashing a bitter attack on the terrible sinners who just don’t talk about hell enough. It seems the old guy in a dress threw a real hissy fit. Joe the Rat was giving a sermon at an ordinary parish church in Rome, and the altar boys on the stage with him were just gorgeous in their training dresses.

Frank Zappa once famously commented on this subject, saying “There is no Hell, there is only France.” Frank had been to France too.

Italian fashion designers and drag queens are very impressed with the high quality gold embroidered threads that Nazi Ratzi has been flaunting in public lately. With his designer shoes, color coordinated magic staff (it looks just like a broom handle) the fag bashing rich guy cuts quite a figure in public. When not busy bashing fags Nazi Ratzi likes to quote the Book of John “let he who is without sin to cast the first stone”. Then he usually gets right back to work campaigning against that gol darn homo agenda.

So if you don’t believe in Hell, you’re going to Hell. And we all know where fags are going. But what about fags that don’t believe in Hell and don’t like super wealthy former Nazis that wear dresses while gay bashing?

Technorati Tags: Ratzinger, Catholic Church, Nazi, Hitler Youth, homo agenda, Hell, Frank Zappa, France, gay bashing, Pope, Benedict XVI, Rome, Sermon

0 comments.

“Elton John Will Make You Gay” Idiot Tobago Deacon

Posted on March 17th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants, Religious Wingnuts, hypocrite evangelists.

The archdeacon of the Caribbean nation Republic of Trinidad and Tobago wants to ban Sir Elton John from a local jazz festival for fear that he’ll tempt locals into becoming gay. John is scheduled to headline Tobago’s Plymouth Jazz Festival in April, but the country’s Archdeacon Philip Isaac told a Jamaican newspaper, “His visit to the island can open the country to be tempted towards pursuing his lifestyle.” Run away!

Okay, Diana Ross is also scheduled to appear, so if you catch both acts you might end up as a gay black woman with a fabulous voice.

To come up with a story like this, we believe that the Archdeacon combined stupidity, bigotry, and open hostility to reality - it is no wonder he is a religious leader.

Technorati Tags: Gay menace, Elton John, Trinidad and Tobago, Archdeacon Philip Isaac, bigotry, religion, stupidity, faith

0 comments.

Has Darth Cheney Finally Told the Perfect Lie?

Posted on March 12th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants, Repugnicans.

His super-sized lies about nukular weapons labs, fictititious uranium sales, and non-existent links between Saddam Hussein and Al Quaeda were main components of the pack of lies used to justify the illegal and immoral invasion of Iraq, but now Darth Cheney may have finally invented the perfect lie.

Not content just to collect his million dollar a year pension from Halliburton, Darth Cheney has enhanced his career with an illegal and immoral war, the promotion of torture, championing illegal detentions, and no doubt many more evil actions we do not yet suspect. But today he may have finally achieved a life-long goal by telling the perfect lie. The US Vice President of Torture has actually said that a “US withdrawal from Iraq would be a disaster for the United States and the entire Middle East.”

No doubt Darth is particularly proud of this lie, as it is the perfect opposite of the truth. It was the US invasion of Iraq justified by his lies that in fact has already caused a disaster for the US and the entire Mideast. It is the amazingly evil actions of Darth Cheney and his band of war profiteering scum that have already created the disaster which any fucking idiot can plainly see already exists.

At times we almost wish the imbecilic religious beliefs of Our Glorious Christian leader actually had some basis in fact, because, if there really was a heaven and a hell everyone currently alive on the entire planet would be able to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, where Darth Cheney was headed next.

At least we can be thankful for the existence of blood clots. Everybody chant with me “Circulate, circulate, circulate”.

Technorati Tags: Darth Cheney, perfect lie, Our Glorious Christian Leader, Iraq, pack of lies

0 comments.

A Pack of Lies

Posted on March 4th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants.

Regular readers of the blogs and forums I inhabit have grown accustomed to my use of the term “a pack of lies”, but that phrase was not originally my own. A highly controversial member of the British Parliament, well known to the Scottish branch of my extended family, MP George Galloway (a/k/a Gorgeous George) used the phrase in a very dramatic way when he was ripping a new excretory orifice for a US Senate committee.

Some say he was guilty while others claim he was falsely accused of accepting bribes from Saddam Hussein during the long embargo of Iraq. But Gorgeous George wanted to talk about the invasion and the pack of lies used to sell the idea. Others may differ, but I’m impressed with Gorgeous George.

Technorati Tags: Georgeous George, George Galloway, US Senate, Iraq Invasion, Lies of Mass Deception, a pack of lies

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Which Repugnican Hates Fags The Most?

Posted on March 2nd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants, Religious Wingnuts.

As the hatemongers in the Repugnican Party try to cut in line in front of each other to line up for the Fundie Moron vote, a new contest is emerging as each candidate tries to out gay-bash the others.

The eventual winner, the Repugnican would-be Presidential Candidate that hates queers the most of all, will get the keys to the Repugnican Party and try to become the next idiot President to invade an oil-rich country based on a pack of lies.

If it’s not about bashing queers or killing foreigners, chances are you will not hear a Repugnican candidate talking about it.

Fortunately there are other choices available. The Democrats are up to 4% less evil than the Repugnicans, they only bash gays in brief little bursts instead of every time they open their mouths. And of course the Democrats don’t start imperialist wars of aggression against nearly unarmed oil-rich nations, they just vote in favor of those wars. Yup, up to 4% less evil, I’m almost certain.

Technorati Tags: gay rights, homophobia, Republican, Democrats

0 comments.