Atheist Fag

Activist Homophobes Seek Ouster of Naughty Iowa Judge

Posted on September 12th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

A group of outraged activist homophobes for Jebus is demanding the ouster of Iowa District Court Judge Robert Hanson. His Honor correctly ruled that selecting a group of people that will be denied equal rights under the law is unconstitutional. Stupid too, not the judges ruling, the Fundies.

Nothing makes a Fundie hatemonger more angry than the threat of gay people obtaining equal rights. It often causes Fundamentalist Homophobe Fear of a Queer Planet Syndrome, a dangerous condition that can lead to panty wadding, loss of Marital Sanctity, and idiotic blathering about a vicious, spiteful God of Love destroying corn silos in a violent temper tantrum.

For many years to come there will be pissing and moaning and preposterous claims of nonspecific harm that are obviously ridiculous. There will be vague warnings of dire consequences that never come to pass. There will be TV evangelists threatening Iowa with natural disasters. Self-loathing Catholic priests will complain about equal rights for gay people. Obnoxious Repugnican candidates will promise to protect fools from imaginary harm.

And in the end there will be gay marriages in Iowa. And the Baby Jesus will cry so much he’ll drown in his own super-power miracle tears. Poor Baby Jesus, all he ever wanted was bigotry, deceit, and intolerance.

Get your daily dose of Fundie stupidity here.

Technorati Tags: Iowa, Activist Judge, Robert Hanson, gay marriage, equal rights, equality, homophobia, Republican, Jesus, Queer Planet

0 comments.

Failed Would-Be Lawyer Drops Lawsuit Over Bar Exam

Posted on September 8th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, editorials.

A Massachusetts man afflicted with a severe case of Catholicism has dropped his blatantly idiotic lawsuit over the bar exam he failed for refusing to answer a question about gay marriage law because he is a stupid homophobic wanker.

Stephen Dunne bravely refused to answer an evil Satanic bar exam question that referred to the dreadfully scary existence of gay people. He then made the preposterous claim that answering the test question would have violated his Catholic faith and his First Amendment rights, because it would imply his support of gay marriage and parenting.  This man actually intended to be an attorney at law, but he seemed to have a prerequisite that the State of Massachusetts stick its head in the sand along with him and pretend, ever so intensely, that there really are no gay people at all.

Mr Dunne seems to prefer a society in which ancient superstitions are used as the basis for civil law. He apparently requires a social structure in which the most popular religious delusion in the local area is forced into the laws that apply to everyone. Perhaps he might enjoy Saudi Arabia or Iran, in those countries the idiotic religion IS the law.

Technorati Tags: Stephen Dunne, homophobia, Catholic Church, bar exam, Massachusetts, stupid wanker, useless idiot, fucking moron

0 comments.

Republican Comedian Craig Guilty, Not Guilty, Resigning, Not Resigning

Posted on September 6th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Your favorite Republican stand-up comic, US Senator Larry Craig, has issued a denial of his denial that he is not resigning as a non-guilty, guilty pervo Repugnican toilet seat sniffer. He claims that he never inhaled.

“I never had sex with that police officer,” Craig roared to a standing room only crowd at the Boise Improv last night. The Boise Chamber of Commerce reports that hotel rooms and inbound airline seats to the Idaho capital have been hard to get since Craig started his twice nightly standup routine. Tickets on flights routed through Minneapolis are simply impossible to obtain.

Nightly performances take place on a specially constructed set with 4 urinals and 3 adjacent bathroom stalls. The scantily clad Senator gets the crowd roaring early in each set with his patented “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay” as he stares at his police officer straight man assistant. In his International Male jock strap and leather chaps the 62 year old Senator has become an iconic sex object in the Idaho gay community.

Certain Hollywood insiders close to this column have let slip an unconfirmed rumor that the Senator will be doing a comedy/variety show on Fox TV next season, featuring guests from the Log Cabin Republicans and various Colorado Springs churches and hate groups.

As Craig continues to perform to sold out crowds at the Boise Improv, the favorite part of his act seems to be the way he keeps saying “Guilty”, then turns his head the other way and says “Not Guilty.”

Concerns have been expressed that his nearly nude appearance onstage might weaken Family Values in Idaho, but Craig responded by repeating his trademark line “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay”. Craig lives just outside Boise in his own Private Idaho.

Technorati Tags: Comedy, Party of Jesus, Larry Craig, Senator Fag, I’m not gay, Family Values, Idaho, guilty, not guilty, resigning, not resigning, toilet sex, US Senate

0 comments.

Iowa Judge Destroys Sanctity of Marriage, 50,000 Dead Overnight

Posted on August 31st, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Over 50,000 residents of the state of Iowa died overnight as a result of an Activist Homo Agenda Librul Judge that ruled the Iowa anti-fag marriage law was unconstitutional. FEMA is sending help to the predominantly Republican state.

Polk County Judge Robert Hanson said in his ruling that the Jesus-approved anti fag law was “mean spirited”, but he appears to have failed to take into account the astounding loss of life that has already resulted from equal rights for all citizens. A team of disaster coroners examining some of those who died overnight has found that the cause of death was a “Loss of Marital Sanctity”. So far only married heterosexual couples that believe in an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy seem to be affected.

Once it became apparent that the all powerful Creator of the Universe had lost in the court case, Roger J. Kuhle, an assistant Polk County attorney, argued that the issue is not for a judge to decide. Strangely this sentiment had not been expressed before the homo agenda librul activist judge ruled in favor of equal rights for all people.

(story)

Technorati Tags: equal rights, gay rights, civil rights, activist judge, Homosexual Agenda, Iowa, gay marriage, Polk County, Judge Robert Hanson, gay panic, Repugnican Party, Party of Jesus, Ha Ha

0 comments.

US Senator Larry Craig (Party of Jesus) Video on Family Values

Posted on August 28th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Mor[m]ons, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Party of Jesus Senator Larry Craig, who was arrested in June for soliciting gay sex in a men’s restroom at the Minneapolis - St. Paul International Airport, is a strong supporter of Mitt Romney and Family Values. We wonder if it was Mitt’s Magic Underwear that formed the basis of the bond between these two famous homophobes.

Unfortunately his little video bit expressing his support for Magic Underwear Mitt seems to have been disappeared from the Mitt Romney Mormons for Homophobia Campaign Site. We found it though:

Apparently when he is not busy bashing fags for Jesus, old Larry likes to have a go in the poo poo room.

They are very proud of Larry back in Idaho. Here is a page that brags about Larry and warns people about gays having sex in restrooms. The good folks at the Idaho Values Alliance want you to be careful in public restrooms. You never know when you might be propositioned by a Repugnican Senator.

Technorati Tags: Larry Craig, hypocrite, Repugnican, closet case, Family Values, Mitt Romney, Magic Underwear, hypocrisy, Idaho Values Alliance, Homophobia, Airport sex, restroom sex, Party of Jesus, Senate, Senator

0 comments.

Presbyterian Minister Guilty of Gay Wedding Charge

Posted on August 25th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, hypocrite evangelists.

The Regional Judicial Committee of the Presbyterian Church for the United States of America has returned a guilty verdict against a minister for failure to meet minimum fag and dyke hate levels. Rev. Jane Spahr of San Rafael, CA promoted the Homosexual Agenda and made the Baby Jesus cry when she officiated at 2 lesbian weddings, the court found. Ms. Spahr, who is herself a Friend of Dorothy, intends to retire soon.

The ruling, which was delivered late Thursday by certified mail to lawyers for Ms. Spahr and the church, reverses a lower tribunal’s decision in March 2006 that she acted within her rights as an ordained minister when she married two evil, sinful, horrible lesbian couples in 2004 and 2005.

The court did not specify how many eternities Ms Spahr would have to spend in Hell for failing to hate herself and other lesbians according to minimum Presbyterian malice standards. Usually promoting the Homosexual Agenda results in a range of 83 to 451 eternities spent in the 18th level of Hell, at this points level the evil doer is forced to watch Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blame the dykes and fags for 9/11 on an endless tape loop on a Sony 52″ plasma TV with the volume up so loud you can hear the faithful cheer for each hatemongering lie.

By the way, Jerry Falwell is still dead and there are many folks anxiously awaiting the Good News of Robertson’s oft-hoped for demise. If Robertson and Falwell knew all along it was the fags and the dykes that were planning the 9/11 attacks, then why did they fail to issue warnings before 3,000 innocent people were killed? This sounds like a conspiracy to aid and abet terr’ists to me!

But back to that gol darn minister for a minute. Whatever was she thinking, going about destroying the Sanctity of Marriage like that? For 6,000 years, the entire history of the Universe, every heterosexual marriage was sacred until Ms Spahr had to ruin it for everybody by completely, totally, and irreversibly destroying the Sanctity of Marriage for all time.

There is just no use anymore in any straight people getting married because this lady has ruined it for everybody. It’s too late now. What with more than 1 gay marriage having been blessed by a Presbyterian minister already, the world might as well end now. It’s all over except for Jesus coming back pissed off and shooting nukular Weapons of Mass Destruction from his nostrils like sacred snot of destruction. Then those gol darn homos and lesbos will learn a thing or two. Like, for example, don’t get Jesus pissed off. Or else.

The sky also fell too, just in case you did not notice.

Technorati Tags: gay rights, civil rights, dumbass religions, equal rights, Presbyterian, Jane Spahr, Sanctity of Marriage, equal rights, homosexual agenda, San Rafael

0 comments.

Worcester MA Rapist Priest Trial Delayed for 33rd Time

Posted on August 25th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Priest Rape, Religious Fraud, Roman Catholic, child rape, editorials.

A Holy Roman Child Rape Church priest dodged justice for the 33rd time in Worcester, Massachusetts this week by continuing to pretend he is not competent to stand trial. The rapist/child molester/priest, who appeared all feeble and weak in a wheelchair in court, was seen later in the day walking unassisted at a highway rest stop.

Rev. John Szantyr, age 76, claims to be incapacitated, yet he still is able to cast the usual Catholic magic spells at religious services. In the typical shuffle of child molester priests, Szantyr now lives across state lines in Connecticut, but there is no current tally for how many children he may have raped in CT so far. Szantyr, who faces charges he molested an altar boy in Worcester in the mid-1980s, has already been ruled incompetent by a judge, but he just renewed his Connecticut driver’s license.

Meanwhile the Holy Roman Altar Boy Church regional corporate accounting center in Worcester continues their vehement opposition to equal civil rights for consenting adult gay couples that do nothing to harm children. They continue to lie about gay people while protecting child molesters.

Meanwhile some of the people in Massachusetts continue to take advice about morality from the organization that has a long, well-documented, court-proven history of conspiring to protect child molesters while simultaneously distracting people from the real threat to their families by spreading hatred and lies about gay people. This seems to support the statistical probability that half of the people in any given area have below average intelligence. In other words, there are dumbasses everywhere.

The Catholic Church seems to have a love affair with virginity, from bullshit fairy tales about imaginary Virgin Mothers, to raping innocent 12 year old virgin children. Perhaps celibacy is to priesthood as WMDs are to the Party of Jesus.

Why is it that we never hear of any Catholic priests who are revered for their lifelong virginity? Too many altar boys in cute little white dresses? Why does the Catholic Church continue to allow only men that are not interested in women to become priests? Is denial really just the longest river in Egypt, or is it also a prerequisite for joining the club and learning how to cast the magic Catholic spells (which do nothing at all anyway)?

The Catholic Church has developed their own version of the US military Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Don’t ask if your priest is a child molester, and Don’t Tell if little Jimmy comes home and says that Father Szantyr forced him to do stuff again.

And it’s all tax free, so they don’t even have to contribute financially to the prosecution of their own child molesters. Now that’s convenient.

Technorati Tags: Worcester MA, Catholic Church, child rape, priest, child molester, Catholicism, hypocrisy, rape, John Szantyr, altar boys

2 comments.

Merv Griffin Dies in Billion Dollar Closet

Posted on August 22nd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Repugnicans, Roman Catholic, editorials.

Famous US show business billionaire and Palm Springs area resident Merv Griffin died this week, having lived for 82 years in the closet. Griffin was famous as a talk show host and enormously wealthy as a result of his very popular TV game shows.

News of Mr Griffin’s death as reported in most media glaringly omitted a very salient fact when presenting biographical details, it made no mention of the fact that he was a gay man. And of course neither did Merv in any public forum, he lived his entire life in the closet. As a youngster Griffin was afflicted with Catholicism.

Mr Griffin never did anything to harm the gay community, he was nothing like the homophobe hypocrite Party of Jesus legislators that spew hatred and lies against gay people during the day, then chase after children at night.

When a newspaper article revealed the fact that Merv had been a gay man the world famous news service Reuters first carried the story, then dropped it, shoving the corpse of one more dead fag back into the closet.

It’s a shame that Mr Griffin did not feel empowered to be honest about the very core of his identity. Maybe he was still afflicted with Catholicism as an adult. Of course he was a very wealthy man. In fact he was rich enough to be a Republican, maybe that explains a life of denial and deceit. After all, nobody is more frightened by a gay identity than a gay Republican.

There is a whole subculture here in the Palm Springs area, wealthy gay men that feel it is OK to be gay as long as you don’t admit it. It’s sort of a self-hating, self-denying, voluntary Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Republican country club society. I find it almost as creepy as Catholicism. Both cases are based on a deep-rooted denial of reality.

Still, it seems a shame. Take it from someone who lived the first half of his life in a place that was actually meant for storing clothing.

NOTE: the author lives in Palm Springs, CA with his queer husband.

Technorati Tags: Merv Griffin, closet, gay, closeted gay man, Republican, Party of Jesus, Catholicism, denial, death, obituary, Reuters

0 comments.

UK Lawyers: RC Church May Not Fire Queer Headmaster

Posted on August 13th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Roman Catholic, Schools.

In the United Kingdom schools that promote religious fairy tales are able to receive funding from the gummint, but in return they are required to obey the laws of the land. They are not allowed to whip, torture or stone children, despite the Book of Leviticus.

Even the Holy Roman Child Rape Catholic Church is required to obey the law. Even when the law prevents them from acting maliciously, as they prefer to do, based on primitive ancient scrolls written by ancient hate-crazed tribal cult leaders - they still have to obey the law.

Hatemongering religious leaders have been losing influence in the UK for years, as the nation continues to move towards a sane, reality-based attitude of tolerance.

The queer headmaster of St. Cecilia’s primary school (coincidentally the same name as the school where a ferocious bull-dyke nun once failed to terrorize your humble blogger) married his beau in a public service with a reception held in a parish hall (ha ha!) and this really pissed off the people that use their idiotic religion to justify their homophobia and intolerance.

Ha Ha again. Ha Ha three times. No really, fuck the HRCRCC.
See the story here.

And remember, just say Fuck You to any dumbass hatemongering religion that tries to oppress you.

Technorati Tags: Roman Catholic, queer, headmaster, gay marriage, gay rights, equal rights, civil liberties, child molesters, Catholic Church, child rape, Holy Roman Catholic Church, equal

0 comments.

Anti-Gay Repugnican Arrested Soliciting Gay Sex

Posted on July 13th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Florida Legislator and Co-Chair of John “safe on the street in Baghdad” McCain’s Presidential campaign, FL Rep Bob Allen, was arrested for soliciting gay sex in a restroom in an ad hoc police sting.

As a hypocritical, facetious, two faced Repugnican legislator he campaigned against adoption rights for gay couples in Florida.

The officers observed the Repugnican behaving like a deeply hypocritical fucked up self hating fundamentalist wanker, and put a cop in the restroom as bait after the Party of Jesus representative was seen going in and out of the restrooms. We all know how these Repuignicans operate, always trying to start an unjust war of aggression based on a pack of lies or else buy some of the gay sex they deeply fear and legislate against constantly while prominently presenting pretend piety.

The Merritt Island Republican was arrested Wednesday and charged with soliciting prostitution after he allegedly offered a Titusville police officer $20 to perform oral sex on him.

According to the police report, here’s what happened:

Plainclothes officers were at the city’s Space View Park conducting surveillance for a burglary case when they noticed a man — who turned out to be Allen — acting suspiciously.

Allen drove through the park twice and went in and out of the park restroom three times. One of the officers went into the restroom to see what was happening.

The officer states Allen entered the restroom behind him as he walked in to wash his hands. Allen went into a stall, looked over the partition at him and the two began talking.

Moments later, Allen suggested the two go somewhere private where he would pay the officer $20 so he could perform oral sex on the officer.

Allen was then arrested and charged with soliciting, a second-degree misdemeanor.

First elected in 2000, Allen is the chairman of the House Committee on Energy. He received the Rainbow Democratic Club of Orlando’s worst possible rating.

In March, he co-sponsored HB269, the Lewdness and Indecent Exposure Bill, which proposed enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts or exposure or exhibition of sexual organs committed within specified distance of certain locations.” The bill never made it to a vote.

Deeply repressed, self hating, Repugnican, hypocrite.

Technorati Tags: Repugnican, Bob Allen, solicitation, Merritt Island, homophobia, prostitution, Republican, John McCain

0 comments.