Atheist Fag

Republican Comedian Craig Guilty, Not Guilty, Resigning, Not Resigning

Posted on September 6th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Your favorite Republican stand-up comic, US Senator Larry Craig, has issued a denial of his denial that he is not resigning as a non-guilty, guilty pervo Repugnican toilet seat sniffer. He claims that he never inhaled.

“I never had sex with that police officer,” Craig roared to a standing room only crowd at the Boise Improv last night. The Boise Chamber of Commerce reports that hotel rooms and inbound airline seats to the Idaho capital have been hard to get since Craig started his twice nightly standup routine. Tickets on flights routed through Minneapolis are simply impossible to obtain.

Nightly performances take place on a specially constructed set with 4 urinals and 3 adjacent bathroom stalls. The scantily clad Senator gets the crowd roaring early in each set with his patented “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay” as he stares at his police officer straight man assistant. In his International Male jock strap and leather chaps the 62 year old Senator has become an iconic sex object in the Idaho gay community.

Certain Hollywood insiders close to this column have let slip an unconfirmed rumor that the Senator will be doing a comedy/variety show on Fox TV next season, featuring guests from the Log Cabin Republicans and various Colorado Springs churches and hate groups.

As Craig continues to perform to sold out crowds at the Boise Improv, the favorite part of his act seems to be the way he keeps saying “Guilty”, then turns his head the other way and says “Not Guilty.”

Concerns have been expressed that his nearly nude appearance onstage might weaken Family Values in Idaho, but Craig responded by repeating his trademark line “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay”. Craig lives just outside Boise in his own Private Idaho.

Technorati Tags: Comedy, Party of Jesus, Larry Craig, Senator Fag, I’m not gay, Family Values, Idaho, guilty, not guilty, resigning, not resigning, toilet sex, US Senate

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Iowa Judge Destroys Sanctity of Marriage, 50,000 Dead Overnight

Posted on August 31st, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Over 50,000 residents of the state of Iowa died overnight as a result of an Activist Homo Agenda Librul Judge that ruled the Iowa anti-fag marriage law was unconstitutional. FEMA is sending help to the predominantly Republican state.

Polk County Judge Robert Hanson said in his ruling that the Jesus-approved anti fag law was “mean spirited”, but he appears to have failed to take into account the astounding loss of life that has already resulted from equal rights for all citizens. A team of disaster coroners examining some of those who died overnight has found that the cause of death was a “Loss of Marital Sanctity”. So far only married heterosexual couples that believe in an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy seem to be affected.

Once it became apparent that the all powerful Creator of the Universe had lost in the court case, Roger J. Kuhle, an assistant Polk County attorney, argued that the issue is not for a judge to decide. Strangely this sentiment had not been expressed before the homo agenda librul activist judge ruled in favor of equal rights for all people.

(story)

Technorati Tags: equal rights, gay rights, civil rights, activist judge, Homosexual Agenda, Iowa, gay marriage, Polk County, Judge Robert Hanson, gay panic, Repugnican Party, Party of Jesus, Ha Ha

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US Senator Larry Craig (Party of Jesus) Video on Family Values

Posted on August 28th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Mor[m]ons, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Party of Jesus Senator Larry Craig, who was arrested in June for soliciting gay sex in a men’s restroom at the Minneapolis - St. Paul International Airport, is a strong supporter of Mitt Romney and Family Values. We wonder if it was Mitt’s Magic Underwear that formed the basis of the bond between these two famous homophobes.

Unfortunately his little video bit expressing his support for Magic Underwear Mitt seems to have been disappeared from the Mitt Romney Mormons for Homophobia Campaign Site. We found it though:

Apparently when he is not busy bashing fags for Jesus, old Larry likes to have a go in the poo poo room.

They are very proud of Larry back in Idaho. Here is a page that brags about Larry and warns people about gays having sex in restrooms. The good folks at the Idaho Values Alliance want you to be careful in public restrooms. You never know when you might be propositioned by a Repugnican Senator.

Technorati Tags: Larry Craig, hypocrite, Repugnican, closet case, Family Values, Mitt Romney, Magic Underwear, hypocrisy, Idaho Values Alliance, Homophobia, Airport sex, restroom sex, Party of Jesus, Senate, Senator

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Vietraq Like Vietnam, Says Our Glorious Christian Leader

Posted on August 26th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith-Based Invasions, Imperialist wars, Our Glorious Christian Leader, Repugnicans, Uncategorized, Warmongering.

Our Glorious Christian Leader has finally admitted that our illegal imperialist invasion of Iraq based on a pack of lies is similar to our illegal imperialist invasion of Vietnam based on a different set of lies many years ago.

In both cases the nations we were forced to attack were in the final stages of preparations for invading and enslaving the entire US mainland. The Iraqi’s were just about to launch their 3 man Navy in a speedboat left over from the Iran/Iraq war, and, after stopping to refuel 18 times while crossing the Atlantic Ocean, they would have arrived at New York City 2 months later and finished off the destruction of Manhattan that had been started in 2001 by Osama Bin Hussein.

Vietnam, many years earlier, had been in the process of outfitting a fleet of 12 wooden fishing boats with which they intended to sail into San Francisco Bay and immediately create a network of Pho restaurants from which they could dispense poison-laden rice noodle soup to the hippies in the Bay Area, thereby destroying US morale and forcing an immediate and unconditional surrender.

If we had not attacked Osama Bin Hussein in Baghdad we would have had to do ship to ship combat in the New York harbor area, putting the Statue of Liberty at risk for a friendly fire accidental incident. This could reduce tourism dollars.

Of course there are a few slight differences. In Vietnam we appointed a puppet government and then used the puppet government to request US “assistance”, in the form of us going there and killing hundreds of thousands of the people that lived there for trying to select their own form of government without US approval.

In the case of Iraq, we went there first, killed a bunch of people, and then installed a government that immediately announced a powerful urge to have some random group of foreigners come in and start killing the local people. It is clear that the Vietraq war is a much greater success than Vietnam was, since in Iraq we were already there killing people before the puppet government asked us to kill people - making our Mission Accomplished an instantaneous result. As soon as our troops rolled in to Baghdad we had already won the Iraq war.

In Vietnam we did not win until the last helicopter left the US fortress, er, embassy in a hail of gunfire from confused locals who delusionally thought they wanted a local government not run by the benevolent, mass-murdering USA.

We continue to be amazed at the brilliant tactical analysis produced on a daily basis by Our Glorious Christian Leader and his highly competent staff of reality deniers and oil exploration equipment salesmen. Our Glorious Christian Leader, like Presidents Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, and Nixon before him, has the wisdom to realize that it is primarily the people in non-Caucasian nations that are most interested in having American troops invade their countries and kill their citizens.

Technorati Tags: Vietnam, Vietraq, Imperialism, Our Glorious Christian Leader, war, warmongering, manifest destiny, racism, invasions, Osama Bin Hussein, Mission Accomplished

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Yet Another Repugnican Child Molester Legislator

Posted on August 23rd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Priest Rape, Repugnicans, Roman Catholic, child rape.

The Party of Jesus seems to be competing with the Holy Roman Altar Boy Church for the highest total number of holy hypocrite child molester felons. It seems hardly a month goes by without another Party of Jesus hatemonger hypocrite being exposed as a fancier of nude children.

This month’s Repugnican rapist seems to like little girls instead of little boys. Former state Rep. Ted Klaudt has been charged with 4 counts of rape in each of two South Dakota counties, and now in true Party of Jesus style he has also been charged with talking sexy with teenage children online.

We don’t know how many children he raped before he became an ex-state representative, but generally Party of Jesus legislators are encouraged to keep their child sex activities on the down low. Once the press gets wind of a new Party of Jesus rapist case the full power of the Repugnican hate machine is aimed at them as if they were not even Christian.

The South Dakota ArgusLeader reports on this case.

Technorati Tags: Repugnican, Republican, Party of Jesus, child molester, politician, pedophile, rapist, hypocrite

1 comment.

Merv Griffin Dies in Billion Dollar Closet

Posted on August 22nd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Repugnicans, Roman Catholic, editorials.

Famous US show business billionaire and Palm Springs area resident Merv Griffin died this week, having lived for 82 years in the closet. Griffin was famous as a talk show host and enormously wealthy as a result of his very popular TV game shows.

News of Mr Griffin’s death as reported in most media glaringly omitted a very salient fact when presenting biographical details, it made no mention of the fact that he was a gay man. And of course neither did Merv in any public forum, he lived his entire life in the closet. As a youngster Griffin was afflicted with Catholicism.

Mr Griffin never did anything to harm the gay community, he was nothing like the homophobe hypocrite Party of Jesus legislators that spew hatred and lies against gay people during the day, then chase after children at night.

When a newspaper article revealed the fact that Merv had been a gay man the world famous news service Reuters first carried the story, then dropped it, shoving the corpse of one more dead fag back into the closet.

It’s a shame that Mr Griffin did not feel empowered to be honest about the very core of his identity. Maybe he was still afflicted with Catholicism as an adult. Of course he was a very wealthy man. In fact he was rich enough to be a Republican, maybe that explains a life of denial and deceit. After all, nobody is more frightened by a gay identity than a gay Republican.

There is a whole subculture here in the Palm Springs area, wealthy gay men that feel it is OK to be gay as long as you don’t admit it. It’s sort of a self-hating, self-denying, voluntary Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Republican country club society. I find it almost as creepy as Catholicism. Both cases are based on a deep-rooted denial of reality.

Still, it seems a shame. Take it from someone who lived the first half of his life in a place that was actually meant for storing clothing.

NOTE: the author lives in Palm Springs, CA with his queer husband.

Technorati Tags: Merv Griffin, closet, gay, closeted gay man, Republican, Party of Jesus, Catholicism, denial, death, obituary, Reuters

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Anti-Gay Repugnican Arrested Soliciting Gay Sex

Posted on July 13th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Florida Legislator and Co-Chair of John “safe on the street in Baghdad” McCain’s Presidential campaign, FL Rep Bob Allen, was arrested for soliciting gay sex in a restroom in an ad hoc police sting.

As a hypocritical, facetious, two faced Repugnican legislator he campaigned against adoption rights for gay couples in Florida.

The officers observed the Repugnican behaving like a deeply hypocritical fucked up self hating fundamentalist wanker, and put a cop in the restroom as bait after the Party of Jesus representative was seen going in and out of the restrooms. We all know how these Repuignicans operate, always trying to start an unjust war of aggression based on a pack of lies or else buy some of the gay sex they deeply fear and legislate against constantly while prominently presenting pretend piety.

The Merritt Island Republican was arrested Wednesday and charged with soliciting prostitution after he allegedly offered a Titusville police officer $20 to perform oral sex on him.

According to the police report, here’s what happened:

Plainclothes officers were at the city’s Space View Park conducting surveillance for a burglary case when they noticed a man — who turned out to be Allen — acting suspiciously.

Allen drove through the park twice and went in and out of the park restroom three times. One of the officers went into the restroom to see what was happening.

The officer states Allen entered the restroom behind him as he walked in to wash his hands. Allen went into a stall, looked over the partition at him and the two began talking.

Moments later, Allen suggested the two go somewhere private where he would pay the officer $20 so he could perform oral sex on the officer.

Allen was then arrested and charged with soliciting, a second-degree misdemeanor.

First elected in 2000, Allen is the chairman of the House Committee on Energy. He received the Rainbow Democratic Club of Orlando’s worst possible rating.

In March, he co-sponsored HB269, the Lewdness and Indecent Exposure Bill, which proposed enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts or exposure or exhibition of sexual organs committed within specified distance of certain locations.” The bill never made it to a vote.

Deeply repressed, self hating, Repugnican, hypocrite.

Technorati Tags: Repugnican, Bob Allen, solicitation, Merritt Island, homophobia, prostitution, Republican, John McCain

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British Officer Calls Vietraq War Illegal, Immoral, Unwinnable

Posted on June 7th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Demoncrats, Faith-Based Invasions, Imperialist wars, Repugnicans, Uncategorized.

British military officers are speaking out in public against the imperialist invasion of Iraq that was based on a pack of lies. While the officer involved accurately says that the war is illegal, immoral and unwinnable, he forgets to mention what a big hit it is with Fundamentalist Christians.

True, it was based on a pack of lies. Yes, it is a clear violation of the Nuremberg Principles and international law. Certainly killing hundreds of thousands of people is as immoral as any other crime against humanity. But at least Fundamentalist Christians support the ongoing slaughter as championed by Our Glorious Christian Leader.

It seems that as long as Our Glorious Christian Leader continues to pretend to be a Christian, the 28% of Americans that do not profess complete disgust with him will continue to be hoodwinked and fooled and just love every minute of it too.

Of course the other 72% of Americans have woken up from their five year nap and noticed that claims of Mission Accomplished were nothing more than media-propagated propaganda.

And some Americans seem to disapprove of the ongoing futility of pointless slaughter that benefits corporations like Halliburton and Exxon/Mobil but brings only harm to human beings.

Fortunately we can count on the Demoncratic Party to do everything they possibly can to seem to be opposed to the ongoing US corporate rape of Iraq.

And there are plenty of US military officers who feel the same way as this outspoken British officer, plenty of them.

Stay the course.

Technorati Tags: Imperialism, pack of lies, war crimes, George Bush, war criminals, propaganda, Mission Accomplished, British military

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Jammed Fax Machine Provokes Mass Hysteria at Massachusetts Bank

Posted on May 31st, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Rants, Repugnicans, UnFaux News, editorials.

In Ashland, Massachusetts a fax machine at a Bank of America branch jammed while receiving a fax from the Bank of America marketing department. Graphical images of a lighted match and a bomb with a fuse were visible in the partial fax copy received before the jam. Like good victims of the Fox News Network, the bank employees panicked and called the police in the first hysterical over-reaction in a chain of police-involved hysterical reactions.

By the time that someone had managed to clear the paper jam in the fax machine 15 local businesses had been evacuated, including a day care facility with 30 children at a nearby property. How many parents had to leave work early to go pickup their children? How many innocent children were frightened by this hysterical over-reaction by an Action News afflicted idiot? Film at 11!

Let’s face it, fax machines are evil. There can be no denying the deeply evil nature of a fax machine. In fact only clothes hangers and nuclear weapons are more evil than fax machines, although ink-jet printers are mighty damn annoying. But most fax machines do not usually explode because of a paper jam. Most of the time.

I admit there have been a few times I’ve wanted to pickup a fax machine and throw it with great force against a nearby wall, I hate the fucking things! But this animosity does not translate into fear that easily for me. I’ve never let a fax machine get the better of me for more than a few minutes.

Recently, in order to protect our property from terr’ists, I contracted with a Chicago area firm to receive faxes for me, convert them to digital images, and then email the image to me here in California. I figure as long as the fax machine is 1700 miles away I don’t need to evacuate the property every time some random fax comes in. Hell, I don’t even watch Fox News, so I’m probably not nearly as frightened of my own shadow as I should be. In fact I designed and created UnFox News as an antidote to Fox News, it’s not a propaganda arm of the Republican Party.

You can fax your comments or send voicemail responses to this blog entry using my 1700 mile away fax machine by calling (815) 642-4707. It won’t cause any paper jams and I promise not to panic.

Technorati Tags: mass hysteria, over reaction, Ashland, Bank of America, bomb scare, fax machine, voicemail, Chicago, Fox News, UnFox News, Republican Party

1 comment.

The Assault on Reason: Our Glorious Christian Leader

Posted on May 21st, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Demoncrats, Repugnicans, Uncategorized, editorials.

Al Gore, the man who won the US Presidential election in November 2000, has finally let loose against Our Glorious Christian Leader, and justifiably he has fired using both barrels.

In his new book The Assault on Reason Gore describes the great harm that has been done to America and the rest of the world by the gang of Neocon Fundamentalist thugs that stole the election 7 years ago.

While he does not explicitly call for the impeachment and prosecution of Our Glorious Christian Leader, Gore does lay out a list of the crimes committed by OGLC and Darth Cheney.

It looks like a wonderful addition to any collection of reality-based reading material. And please remember, Just say NO to Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddies and their self-appointed representatives in Washington!

Technorati Tags: Al Gore, Our Glorious Christian Leader” The Assault on Reason., Books, expose, treason, Repugnican, thugs, neocons

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