Atheist Fag

Innocent Photographer Released from US Concentration Camp

Posted on May 1st, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Court Cases, Imperialist wars, Lying Bastards, Our Glorious Christian Leader, Repugnicans, US Concentration Camp, Warmongering, faith-based torture, waterboarding.

For some time the US government, acting on the orders of Our Glorious Christian Leader, has been operating a concentration camp in Cuba. We call the US detention center a concentration camp because it is consistent with the definition of the term.

a camp where non-combatants of a district are accommodated, such as those instituted by Lord Kitchener during the South African war of 1899-1902; one for the internment of political prisoners, foreign nationals, etc., esp. as organized by the Nazi regime in Germany before and during the war of 1939-45.

Today an innocent man arrested without due cause was released. Sami al-Hajj had been held prisoner by US forces for 6 years without ever being charged with any crime. Before he was illegally detained by imperialist invaders he was working as a photographer for Al Jazeera.

During the first year he was held in the US concentration camp without being charged with any crime. He had no rights according to Our Glorious Christian Leader.

During the second year he was held in the US concentration camp without being charged with any crime. He had no rights according to Darth Cheney.

During the third year he was held in the US concentration camp without being charged with any crime. He had no rights according to Donald “Death Star” Rumsfeld.

During the fourth year he was held in the US concentration camp without being charged with any crime. He had no rights according to Co-Conspirator Rice.

During the fifth year he was held in the US concentration camp without being charged with any crime. He had no rights according to Alberto “Torture Time” Gonzales.

During the sixth year he was released from the US concentration camp without being charged with any crime. Nobody has apologized for holding him prisoner for 6 years with no charges.

We do not know how often he was tortured, but we do know who authorized the torture.

Since he was never charged with any crime at all, not even littering, what shall we presume about his guilt or innocence? Is there any presumption to be made about a person’s guilt or innocence? How about if a person has not only never been convicted of a crime, suppose they have never even been charged with a crime - are they still guilty?

Technorati Tags: Our Glorious Christian Leader, torture, waterboarding, Darth Cheney, conspiracy to start a war of aggression, Co-Conspirator Rice, Alberto “Torture Time” Gonzale, concentration camp, guantanamo, war criminals, George War Criminal Bush, Al Jazeera, Innocent man, Guantanamo, conspiracy to start a war of aggression, George Bush

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Arkansas Moves to Protect Sanctity of Marriage from Toddler Agenda

Posted on April 4th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Stoopit Religions.

(Trailer Park, Arkansas) In a bold move designed to Protect the Sanctity of Marriage, a group of Arkansas legislators have closed a loophole that was allowing toddler and pre-school children to marry each other as long as neither party was pregnant. Mostly it is little girl toddlers that get pregnant in Arkansas, though some unusual boys do study ballet and hairdressing.

A 2007 revision of the Arkansas marital code had extended marriage privileges to all heterosexual infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers, and students as long as Mommy or Daddy signed a permission slip. In their mad rush to protect the citizens of Arkansas from adult gay couples that love each other and wish to commit to each other, the legislators forgot to read the bill they had rushed through the legislature by a margin of lots and lots of Jesus.

With elections coming up, legislators all across the Booble Belt are desperately trying to Out-Jesus each other in order to get the Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy client vote, estimated at 93% in Jebus-rich Arkansas. But when news got out last year that they had accidentally Jesused the law incorrectly, the Party of Jesus dominated Arkansas legislature had a bit of Jesus egg on their faces.

Children as young as just born were permitted in the Jesus-modded law until the correction was made this week.

Meanwhile in nearby Oklahoma Sally Kern is expected to comment on the threat posed by the Toddler agenda.

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Our Glorious Christian Leader Not Subject to Human Laws

Posted on April 2nd, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Invasions, Imperialist wars, Lying Bastards, Our Glorious Christian Leader, Repugnicans, Warmongering, faith-based torture, waterboarding.

Official US Government policy approving of the use of torture justifies the immoral, illegal, brutal, inhumane, demeaning, fascist behavior of Our Glorious Christian Leader by pretending that Our Glorious Christian Leader is not subject to laws made by mere international treaties signed by the USA. The Pentagon is covering their ass.

The memo was written by John Yoo, who was then deputy assistant attorney general for the Office of Legal Counsel under Alberto “Torture Time” Gonzales, a primary enabler of faith-based torture initiatives.

While the so-called legal opinion does not actually say that Our Glorious Christian Leader answers directly to God, it has been widely reported that God told Our Glorious Christian Leader to engage in an illegal conspiracy to promote a war of aggression based on a pack of lies.

Of course since Jesus H. Christ told Our Glorious Christian Leader that he should invade Iraq this means he was delegating authority, and with authority directly from his Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, it seems obvious that Our Glorious Christian Leader should not be subject to the laws of mere mortals. Praise Him!

Bush, John Yoo, Alberto Gonzales, Torture, Nuremberg, Geneva Conventions, Pentagon, war Crimes, Our Glorious Christian Leader

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Sally Kern Featured on New Website

Posted on March 15th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Representative Sally Kern (PoJ-OK) seems to have a new website that carries her name. Sally Kern is an Oklahoma State Representative in the Party of Jesus. She hit the news recently when a speech she gave to a group of Party of Jesus faithful was uploaded to the intarweb tubes without her knowledge. The worst part is that they used her own words to make it look like she had said the things she really said. This is just typical of the reality based tactics of the Liberal Media New York Homosexual Conspiracy Press!

We think you should visit SallyKern.com and hear what she has to say.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Jesse Kern, homophobia, homosexual agenda, gay agenda, Oklahoma, gays, terrorists, gays are terrorists

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Our Glorious Christian Leader Vetoes Anti-Torture Bill

Posted on March 8th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Our Glorious Christian Leader, Repugnicans, faith-based torture, waterboarding.

In the fine tradition of compassionate conservatives that fundamentally follow Jeebus, Our Glorious Christian Leader has vetoed a bill that would have outlawed torture. Which bills would Jeebus veto? Would Jeebus be disappointed if torture was illegal? Or does Jeebus only hate torture if the person doing the torture is a foreigner?

We all agree that it is morally wrong for our enemies to torture their prisoners. The US Government has often criticized the practice of torture as conducted by small dictatorships. Among the many reasons often used as a la carte rationalizations of the illegal invasion of Iraq is the fact that Saddam Hussein was torturing his own citizens. Any civilized nation would naturally reserve torture for foreigners.

Maybe Our Glorious Christian Leader would be willing to sign a bill that outlaws torturing just Americans, but not foreigners. Of course, on the other hand, maybe he would veto such a bill too.

Usually when Our Glorious Christian Leader vetoes a bill that would outlaw torture he says stuff like “We don’t torture” which is probably just as true as everything else that he says on the subject. Still, I’m not sure if he used that line this time. I’m still waiting to hear him say “We don’t torture, that’s why we vetoed this bill. Because it would outlaw torture. We don’t torture, but this bill would interfere with our ability to collect information.”

Our President who frequently says we don’t torture did say

“The bill Congress sent me would take away one of the most valuable tools in the war on terror”

Only the Party of Jesus is ready to defend your right to be tortured, and they’ll torture you if they have to in order to Protect Freedom™!

Maybe we need a faith-based torture program, we could ask people how much they love Jeebus now as we increase their height, or give them swimming lessons while they are laying on their backs. We could call the new faith-based torture program some snappy name, like the Spanish Questioning or the Spanish Enhanced Interrogation Technique. I hear they have lots of faith-based interview technique training manuals in Rome at that little nation state with the guys in dresses.

We could have a new federal agency that handles “interviews”, the BEI (Bureau of Enhanced Interrogations). Why it’s a whole new industry.

How much safer does Our Glorious Christian Leader make you feel?

Technorati Tags: torture, Bush, veto, waterboarding, Our Glorious Christian Leader, faith based initiatives

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Former NYC Employees Discuss St. Rudy of 9/11

Posted on January 3rd, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Lying Bastards, Repugnicans.

Presidential candidate and noted Saint of the Church of Fear of Terr’ists, St. Rudy of 9/11, was the subject of an article published by Guardian Unlimited in which former City Hall employeees, from back in the days when he utterly failed to protect NYC from terr’ists, speak about the way he forced them to hire incompetent hacks that were part of his political machine.

Gee, what a surprise. Republicans gots corrupt now? Republicans forcing incompetent fools into important jobs that involve public safety? Republicans showing callous disregard for issues of public safety while building their power base?

Is this the same Saint Rudy of 9/11 that put the New York City emergency coordination department in the World Trade Center after it had already been bombed once? The same Saint Rudy of 9/11 that ignored advice that he should not put the city’s emergency headquarters in a building well known as a target of terr’ists?

So now Saint Rudy of 9/11 wants to provide the same level of protection to the whole country as he did for New York City in 2001? Gee, um, no thanks, you shameless hack.

Technorati Tags: Giuliani, Republican, Republicans, Candidates, election 2008, Saint Rudy, 9/11, New York City, terr’ists, terr’ism, corruption

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Federal Budget For Killing, Not Medical Care for Children

Posted on October 4th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Imperialist wars, Our Glorious Christian Leader, Rants, Repugnicans, Warmongering, editorials.

Our Glorious Christian Leader has bolstered his image as a War President by using his veto power to defeat a bill passed by Congress that would have extended a medical care program (SCHIP) for children. It is better to drop bombs on foreign children than provide medical care for our own children, or so it would seem.

No doubt Our Glorious Christian Leader was inspired by a famous quote from his Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, or Imaginary Son of Imaginary Sky Daddy to be more precise, “Suffer the little cluster bombs to come unto me, for theirs is the Kingdom of Republican war profits”. I think that is how it goes. Compassionate conservative my ass.

Besides, these damn poor kids are too young to be sent overseas time and time again, and then treated like dirt when they come home wounded. By the time they are old enough to be used as cannon fodder, Our Glorious Christian Leader will be back home in Crawford counting his war profit dollars.

Our Glorious Christian Leader is willing to spend ten billion dollars a month to protect exclusive oil rights for the billionaire that is building his Presidential Library, but medical care for our own children is just too big of a burden, since it does not help his war profiteering Fundamentalist Christian cronies. How could anything be more disgusting than Our Glorious Christian Leader?

Technorati Tags: Our Glorious Christian Leader, SCHIP, veto, war profits, Ray Hunt, Bush Library, Iraq war, child care, Party of Jesus

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Activist Homophobes Seek Ouster of Naughty Iowa Judge

Posted on September 12th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

A group of outraged activist homophobes for Jebus is demanding the ouster of Iowa District Court Judge Robert Hanson. His Honor correctly ruled that selecting a group of people that will be denied equal rights under the law is unconstitutional. Stupid too, not the judges ruling, the Fundies.

Nothing makes a Fundie hatemonger more angry than the threat of gay people obtaining equal rights. It often causes Fundamentalist Homophobe Fear of a Queer Planet Syndrome, a dangerous condition that can lead to panty wadding, loss of Marital Sanctity, and idiotic blathering about a vicious, spiteful God of Love destroying corn silos in a violent temper tantrum.

For many years to come there will be pissing and moaning and preposterous claims of nonspecific harm that are obviously ridiculous. There will be vague warnings of dire consequences that never come to pass. There will be TV evangelists threatening Iowa with natural disasters. Self-loathing Catholic priests will complain about equal rights for gay people. Obnoxious Repugnican candidates will promise to protect fools from imaginary harm.

And in the end there will be gay marriages in Iowa. And the Baby Jesus will cry so much he’ll drown in his own super-power miracle tears. Poor Baby Jesus, all he ever wanted was bigotry, deceit, and intolerance.

Get your daily dose of Fundie stupidity here.

Technorati Tags: Iowa, Activist Judge, Robert Hanson, gay marriage, equal rights, equality, homophobia, Republican, Jesus, Queer Planet

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Republican Comedian Craig Guilty, Not Guilty, Resigning, Not Resigning

Posted on September 6th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Your favorite Republican stand-up comic, US Senator Larry Craig, has issued a denial of his denial that he is not resigning as a non-guilty, guilty pervo Repugnican toilet seat sniffer. He claims that he never inhaled.

“I never had sex with that police officer,” Craig roared to a standing room only crowd at the Boise Improv last night. The Boise Chamber of Commerce reports that hotel rooms and inbound airline seats to the Idaho capital have been hard to get since Craig started his twice nightly standup routine. Tickets on flights routed through Minneapolis are simply impossible to obtain.

Nightly performances take place on a specially constructed set with 4 urinals and 3 adjacent bathroom stalls. The scantily clad Senator gets the crowd roaring early in each set with his patented “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay” as he stares at his police officer straight man assistant. In his International Male jock strap and leather chaps the 62 year old Senator has become an iconic sex object in the Idaho gay community.

Certain Hollywood insiders close to this column have let slip an unconfirmed rumor that the Senator will be doing a comedy/variety show on Fox TV next season, featuring guests from the Log Cabin Republicans and various Colorado Springs churches and hate groups.

As Craig continues to perform to sold out crowds at the Boise Improv, the favorite part of his act seems to be the way he keeps saying “Guilty”, then turns his head the other way and says “Not Guilty.”

Concerns have been expressed that his nearly nude appearance onstage might weaken Family Values in Idaho, but Craig responded by repeating his trademark line “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay”. Craig lives just outside Boise in his own Private Idaho.

Technorati Tags: Comedy, Party of Jesus, Larry Craig, Senator Fag, I’m not gay, Family Values, Idaho, guilty, not guilty, resigning, not resigning, toilet sex, US Senate

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Iowa Judge Destroys Sanctity of Marriage, 50,000 Dead Overnight

Posted on August 31st, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Over 50,000 residents of the state of Iowa died overnight as a result of an Activist Homo Agenda Librul Judge that ruled the Iowa anti-fag marriage law was unconstitutional. FEMA is sending help to the predominantly Republican state.

Polk County Judge Robert Hanson said in his ruling that the Jesus-approved anti fag law was “mean spirited”, but he appears to have failed to take into account the astounding loss of life that has already resulted from equal rights for all citizens. A team of disaster coroners examining some of those who died overnight has found that the cause of death was a “Loss of Marital Sanctity”. So far only married heterosexual couples that believe in an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy seem to be affected.

Once it became apparent that the all powerful Creator of the Universe had lost in the court case, Roger J. Kuhle, an assistant Polk County attorney, argued that the issue is not for a judge to decide. Strangely this sentiment had not been expressed before the homo agenda librul activist judge ruled in favor of equal rights for all people.

(story)

Technorati Tags: equal rights, gay rights, civil rights, activist judge, Homosexual Agenda, Iowa, gay marriage, Polk County, Judge Robert Hanson, gay panic, Repugnican Party, Party of Jesus, Ha Ha

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