Atheist Fag

Arkansas Moves to Protect Sanctity of Marriage from Toddler Agenda

Posted on April 4th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Stoopit Religions.

(Trailer Park, Arkansas) In a bold move designed to Protect the Sanctity of Marriage, a group of Arkansas legislators have closed a loophole that was allowing toddler and pre-school children to marry each other as long as neither party was pregnant. Mostly it is little girl toddlers that get pregnant in Arkansas, though some unusual boys do study ballet and hairdressing.

A 2007 revision of the Arkansas marital code had extended marriage privileges to all heterosexual infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers, and students as long as Mommy or Daddy signed a permission slip. In their mad rush to protect the citizens of Arkansas from adult gay couples that love each other and wish to commit to each other, the legislators forgot to read the bill they had rushed through the legislature by a margin of lots and lots of Jesus.

With elections coming up, legislators all across the Booble Belt are desperately trying to Out-Jesus each other in order to get the Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy client vote, estimated at 93% in Jebus-rich Arkansas. But when news got out last year that they had accidentally Jesused the law incorrectly, the Party of Jesus dominated Arkansas legislature had a bit of Jesus egg on their faces.

Children as young as just born were permitted in the Jesus-modded law until the correction was made this week.

Meanwhile in nearby Oklahoma Sally Kern is expected to comment on the threat posed by the Toddler agenda.

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Iowa Judge Destroys Sanctity of Marriage, 50,000 Dead Overnight

Posted on August 31st, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Over 50,000 residents of the state of Iowa died overnight as a result of an Activist Homo Agenda Librul Judge that ruled the Iowa anti-fag marriage law was unconstitutional. FEMA is sending help to the predominantly Republican state.

Polk County Judge Robert Hanson said in his ruling that the Jesus-approved anti fag law was “mean spirited”, but he appears to have failed to take into account the astounding loss of life that has already resulted from equal rights for all citizens. A team of disaster coroners examining some of those who died overnight has found that the cause of death was a “Loss of Marital Sanctity”. So far only married heterosexual couples that believe in an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy seem to be affected.

Once it became apparent that the all powerful Creator of the Universe had lost in the court case, Roger J. Kuhle, an assistant Polk County attorney, argued that the issue is not for a judge to decide. Strangely this sentiment had not been expressed before the homo agenda librul activist judge ruled in favor of equal rights for all people.

(story)

Technorati Tags: equal rights, gay rights, civil rights, activist judge, Homosexual Agenda, Iowa, gay marriage, Polk County, Judge Robert Hanson, gay panic, Repugnican Party, Party of Jesus, Ha Ha

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Anti-Gay Repugnican Arrested Soliciting Gay Sex

Posted on July 13th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Florida Legislator and Co-Chair of John “safe on the street in Baghdad” McCain’s Presidential campaign, FL Rep Bob Allen, was arrested for soliciting gay sex in a restroom in an ad hoc police sting.

As a hypocritical, facetious, two faced Repugnican legislator he campaigned against adoption rights for gay couples in Florida.

The officers observed the Repugnican behaving like a deeply hypocritical fucked up self hating fundamentalist wanker, and put a cop in the restroom as bait after the Party of Jesus representative was seen going in and out of the restrooms. We all know how these Repuignicans operate, always trying to start an unjust war of aggression based on a pack of lies or else buy some of the gay sex they deeply fear and legislate against constantly while prominently presenting pretend piety.

The Merritt Island Republican was arrested Wednesday and charged with soliciting prostitution after he allegedly offered a Titusville police officer $20 to perform oral sex on him.

According to the police report, here’s what happened:

Plainclothes officers were at the city’s Space View Park conducting surveillance for a burglary case when they noticed a man — who turned out to be Allen — acting suspiciously.

Allen drove through the park twice and went in and out of the park restroom three times. One of the officers went into the restroom to see what was happening.

The officer states Allen entered the restroom behind him as he walked in to wash his hands. Allen went into a stall, looked over the partition at him and the two began talking.

Moments later, Allen suggested the two go somewhere private where he would pay the officer $20 so he could perform oral sex on the officer.

Allen was then arrested and charged with soliciting, a second-degree misdemeanor.

First elected in 2000, Allen is the chairman of the House Committee on Energy. He received the Rainbow Democratic Club of Orlando’s worst possible rating.

In March, he co-sponsored HB269, the Lewdness and Indecent Exposure Bill, which proposed enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts or exposure or exhibition of sexual organs committed within specified distance of certain locations.” The bill never made it to a vote.

Deeply repressed, self hating, Repugnican, hypocrite.

Technorati Tags: Repugnican, Bob Allen, solicitation, Merritt Island, homophobia, prostitution, Republican, John McCain

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Pope Dictates Policy to Catholic Politicians

Posted on May 9th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Roman Catholic.

Under the direct threat of ex-communication and withdrawal of wafer-thin slices of Jesus’ meat, Pope Ratzi the Nazi has informed Catholic politicians worldwide that they will be taking orders from him.

Speaking of a case in Mexico, Nazi Ratzi was asked whether he supported Mexican Church regional managers threats to excommunicate leftist parliamentarians who last month voted to legalize abortion in Mexico City. “Yes” replied Nazi Ratzi “this excommunication was not an arbitrary one but is allowed by Canon (church) law.”

This case makes it clear that the world’s richest pedophile organization considers itself above such trivial nuisances as national laws, and it also illustrates the fact that the boy rape racketeering organization seeks to control the actions of politicians afflicted with their especially perverted religious beliefs.

The extent of the authority over local governments claimed by these organized felons extends to other areas too, not just abortion. Catholic Regional Managers, sometimes called bishops, archbishops or cardinals, have also threatened to take away Jesus-meat privileges from any politicians afflicted with Catholicism who vote in favor of any kind of rights for gay people. According to Nazi Ratzi, it is a sin to oppose discrimination against fags and dykes.

In the US we have RICO laws (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act), the members of the world’s largest child sex ring might be very well advised to keep this fact in mind. It could cost them money.

Technorati Tags: Catholic, Ratzi, Nazi, pope, excommunication, abortion, gay rights, pedophilia, RICO

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Sky Falling Over Indiana as Anti-Gay Measure Fails

Posted on April 4th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia.

The marriages of hundreds of thousands of Fundamentalist Christians may soon become completely meaningless as Indiana legislators failed to move forward with a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages. Sanctity in Indiana was down 32% overnight,, and forecasters indicated that a tornado of lost sanctity might strike Indiana any minute now.

It’s pretty bad when people that hate other people can’t deny them equal treatment under the law. Especially when the haters have convinced themselves that they will suffer some nebulous, undefinable, mystical but deeply tragic harm if other couples can share their lives and fortunes in exactly the same way as the haters do already.

For those who may be having trouble understanding this issue, we’ll illustrate what is at stake here. Imagine that you buy a 42″ diagonal HDTV. And imagine that you have neighbors down the street who are gay or lesbian. It’s pretty obvious that if your gay or lesbian neighbors are permitted to buy a 42″ HDTV there will never be a good show on again on your TV. Clearly, this equality of HDTV ownership would cause great harm to you. That’s why we have laws that forbid gay couples from buying any 42″ diagonal HDTV sets, it’s to protect the sanctity of high definition television.

It’s really exactly the same with marriage. If gay couples or lesbian couples were permitted to legally marry, the existing straight couples would suffer tremendous harm, for example

Technorati Tags: Indiana, gay marriage, homo agenda, constitutional amendment, legislature, equal rights, gay couples, lesbian couples

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