Atheist Fag

Presbyterian Minister Guilty of Gay Wedding Charge

Posted on August 25th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, hypocrite evangelists, Religious Wingnuts.

The Regional Judicial Committee of the Presbyterian Church for the United States of America has returned a guilty verdict against a minister for failure to meet minimum fag and dyke hate levels. Rev. Jane Spahr of San Rafael, CA promoted the Homosexual Agenda and made the Baby Jesus cry when she officiated at 2 lesbian weddings, the court found. Ms. Spahr, who is herself a Friend of Dorothy, intends to retire soon.

The ruling, which was delivered late Thursday by certified mail to lawyers for Ms. Spahr and the church, reverses a lower tribunal’s decision in March 2006 that she acted within her rights as an ordained minister when she married two evil, sinful, horrible lesbian couples in 2004 and 2005.

The court did not specify how many eternities Ms Spahr would have to spend in Hell for failing to hate herself and other lesbians according to minimum Presbyterian malice standards. Usually promoting the Homosexual Agenda results in a range of 83 to 451 eternities spent in the 18th level of Hell, at this points level the evil doer is forced to watch Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blame the dykes and fags for 9/11 on an endless tape loop on a Sony 52″ plasma TV with the volume up so loud you can hear the faithful cheer for each hatemongering lie.

By the way, Jerry Falwell is still dead and there are many folks anxiously awaiting the Good News of Robertson’s oft-hoped for demise. If Robertson and Falwell knew all along it was the fags and the dykes that were planning the 9/11 attacks, then why did they fail to issue warnings before 3,000 innocent people were killed? This sounds like a conspiracy to aid and abet terr’ists to me!

But back to that gol darn minister for a minute. Whatever was she thinking, going about destroying the Sanctity of Marriage like that? For 6,000 years, the entire history of the Universe, every heterosexual marriage was sacred until Ms Spahr had to ruin it for everybody by completely, totally, and irreversibly destroying the Sanctity of Marriage for all time.

There is just no use anymore in any straight people getting married because this lady has ruined it for everybody. It’s too late now. What with more than 1 gay marriage having been blessed by a Presbyterian minister already, the world might as well end now. It’s all over except for Jesus coming back pissed off and shooting nukular Weapons of Mass Destruction from his nostrils like sacred snot of destruction. Then those gol darn homos and lesbos will learn a thing or two. Like, for example, don’t get Jesus pissed off. Or else.

The sky also fell too, just in case you did not notice.

Technorati Tags: gay rights, civil rights, dumbass religions, equal rights, Presbyterian, Jane Spahr, Sanctity of Marriage, equal rights, homosexual agenda, San Rafael

0 comments.

Worcester MA Rapist Priest Trial Delayed for 33rd Time

Posted on August 25th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: child rape, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, editorials, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Priest Rape, Religious Fraud, Roman Catholic.

A Holy Roman Child Rape Church priest dodged justice for the 33rd time in Worcester, Massachusetts this week by continuing to pretend he is not competent to stand trial. The rapist/child molester/priest, who appeared all feeble and weak in a wheelchair in court, was seen later in the day walking unassisted at a highway rest stop.

Rev. John Szantyr, age 76, claims to be incapacitated, yet he still is able to cast the usual Catholic magic spells at religious services. In the typical shuffle of child molester priests, Szantyr now lives across state lines in Connecticut, but there is no current tally for how many children he may have raped in CT so far. Szantyr, who faces charges he molested an altar boy in Worcester in the mid-1980s, has already been ruled incompetent by a judge, but he just renewed his Connecticut driver’s license.

Meanwhile the Holy Roman Altar Boy Church regional corporate accounting center in Worcester continues their vehement opposition to equal civil rights for consenting adult gay couples that do nothing to harm children. They continue to lie about gay people while protecting child molesters.

Meanwhile some of the people in Massachusetts continue to take advice about morality from the organization that has a long, well-documented, court-proven history of conspiring to protect child molesters while simultaneously distracting people from the real threat to their families by spreading hatred and lies about gay people. This seems to support the statistical probability that half of the people in any given area have below average intelligence. In other words, there are dumbasses everywhere.

The Catholic Church seems to have a love affair with virginity, from bullshit fairy tales about imaginary Virgin Mothers, to raping innocent 12 year old virgin children. Perhaps celibacy is to priesthood as WMDs are to the Party of Jesus.

Why is it that we never hear of any Catholic priests who are revered for their lifelong virginity? Too many altar boys in cute little white dresses? Why does the Catholic Church continue to allow only men that are not interested in women to become priests? Is denial really just the longest river in Egypt, or is it also a prerequisite for joining the club and learning how to cast the magic Catholic spells (which do nothing at all anyway)?

The Catholic Church has developed their own version of the US military Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Don’t ask if your priest is a child molester, and Don’t Tell if little Jimmy comes home and says that Father Szantyr forced him to do stuff again.

And it’s all tax free, so they don’t even have to contribute financially to the prosecution of their own child molesters. Now that’s convenient.

Technorati Tags: Worcester MA, Catholic Church, child rape, priest, child molester, Catholicism, hypocrisy, rape, John Szantyr, altar boys

2 comments.

Merv Griffin Dies in Billion Dollar Closet

Posted on August 22nd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Dumbass Religions, editorials, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Repugnicans, Roman Catholic.

Famous US show business billionaire and Palm Springs area resident Merv Griffin died this week, having lived for 82 years in the closet. Griffin was famous as a talk show host and enormously wealthy as a result of his very popular TV game shows.

News of Mr Griffin’s death as reported in most media glaringly omitted a very salient fact when presenting biographical details, it made no mention of the fact that he was a gay man. And of course neither did Merv in any public forum, he lived his entire life in the closet. As a youngster Griffin was afflicted with Catholicism.

Mr Griffin never did anything to harm the gay community, he was nothing like the homophobe hypocrite Party of Jesus legislators that spew hatred and lies against gay people during the day, then chase after children at night.

When a newspaper article revealed the fact that Merv had been a gay man the world famous news service Reuters first carried the story, then dropped it, shoving the corpse of one more dead fag back into the closet.

It’s a shame that Mr Griffin did not feel empowered to be honest about the very core of his identity. Maybe he was still afflicted with Catholicism as an adult. Of course he was a very wealthy man. In fact he was rich enough to be a Republican, maybe that explains a life of denial and deceit. After all, nobody is more frightened by a gay identity than a gay Republican.

There is a whole subculture here in the Palm Springs area, wealthy gay men that feel it is OK to be gay as long as you don’t admit it. It’s sort of a self-hating, self-denying, voluntary Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Republican country club society. I find it almost as creepy as Catholicism. Both cases are based on a deep-rooted denial of reality.

Still, it seems a shame. Take it from someone who lived the first half of his life in a place that was actually meant for storing clothing.

NOTE: the author lives in Palm Springs, CA with his queer husband.

Technorati Tags: Merv Griffin, closet, gay, closeted gay man, Republican, Party of Jesus, Catholicism, denial, death, obituary, Reuters

1 comment.

UK Lawyers: RC Church May Not Fire Queer Headmaster

Posted on August 13th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Roman Catholic, Schools.

In the United Kingdom schools that promote religious fairy tales are able to receive funding from the gummint, but in return they are required to obey the laws of the land. They are not allowed to whip, torture or stone children, despite the Book of Leviticus.

Even the Holy Roman Child Rape Catholic Church is required to obey the law. Even when the law prevents them from acting maliciously, as they prefer to do, based on primitive ancient scrolls written by ancient hate-crazed tribal cult leaders – they still have to obey the law.

Hatemongering religious leaders have been losing influence in the UK for years, as the nation continues to move towards a sane, reality-based attitude of tolerance.

The queer headmaster of St. Cecilia’s primary school (coincidentally the same name as the school where a ferocious bull-dyke nun once failed to terrorize your humble blogger) married his beau in a public service with a reception held in a parish hall (ha ha!) and this really pissed off the people that use their idiotic religion to justify their homophobia and intolerance.

Ha Ha again. Ha Ha three times. No really, fuck the HRCRCC.
See the story here.

And remember, just say Fuck You to any dumbass hatemongering religion that tries to oppress you.

Technorati Tags: Roman Catholic, queer, headmaster, gay marriage, gay rights, equal rights, civil liberties, child molesters, Catholic Church, child rape, Holy Roman Catholic Church, equal

0 comments.

Anti-Gay Repugnican Arrested Soliciting Gay Sex

Posted on July 13th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Repugnicans.

Florida Legislator and Co-Chair of John “safe on the street in Baghdad” McCain’s Presidential campaign, FL Rep Bob Allen, was arrested for soliciting gay sex in a restroom in an ad hoc police sting.

As a hypocritical, facetious, two faced Repugnican legislator he campaigned against adoption rights for gay couples in Florida.

The officers observed the Repugnican behaving like a deeply hypocritical fucked up self hating fundamentalist wanker, and put a cop in the restroom as bait after the Party of Jesus representative was seen going in and out of the restrooms. We all know how these Repuignicans operate, always trying to start an unjust war of aggression based on a pack of lies or else buy some of the gay sex they deeply fear and legislate against constantly while prominently presenting pretend piety.

The Merritt Island Republican was arrested Wednesday and charged with soliciting prostitution after he allegedly offered a Titusville police officer $20 to perform oral sex on him.

According to the police report, here’s what happened:

Plainclothes officers were at the city’s Space View Park conducting surveillance for a burglary case when they noticed a man — who turned out to be Allen — acting suspiciously.

Allen drove through the park twice and went in and out of the park restroom three times. One of the officers went into the restroom to see what was happening.

The officer states Allen entered the restroom behind him as he walked in to wash his hands. Allen went into a stall, looked over the partition at him and the two began talking.

Moments later, Allen suggested the two go somewhere private where he would pay the officer $20 so he could perform oral sex on the officer.

Allen was then arrested and charged with soliciting, a second-degree misdemeanor.

First elected in 2000, Allen is the chairman of the House Committee on Energy. He received the Rainbow Democratic Club of Orlando’s worst possible rating.

In March, he co-sponsored HB269, the Lewdness and Indecent Exposure Bill, which proposed enhanced penalties for “offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts or exposure or exhibition of sexual organs committed within specified distance of certain locations.” The bill never made it to a vote.

Deeply repressed, self hating, Repugnican, hypocrite.

Technorati Tags: Repugnican, Bob Allen, solicitation, Merritt Island, homophobia, prostitution, Republican, John McCain

0 comments.

Kreationist Klown Museum Shows Gay Adam in Video

Posted on June 8th, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Sighince, Religious Wingnuts, Sighintifik Resurch.

Extreme panic struck at the newly opened Kreationist Klown Museum in Trailer Park, KY this week when it was discovered that the actor featured as Adam in one of their idiot-drool videos is possibly a gay man who once appeared with a drag queen on a sex-related website named BedroomAcrobat.com (currently slashdotted, it would seem). Buff hunk actor Eric Linden may actually like Steve a bit more than Eve. Oh no, RUN AWAY.

This is too rich, just entirely too rich. A nice story, mind you. Still, it seems richly deserving that the Kreationist Klown Museum may have hired a fairy to tell their fairy tales. Let us bask in the irony of this wonderfully funny news item as we giggle, behind our hands of course, at the panicked reaction of the Kreationist Klowns who have pulled the video that might possibly feature a gay man playing the role of the fairy-tale Adam.

Maybe there really is justice in this world, albeit usually as well concealed as an Iraqi WMD.

Technorati Tags: Adam, Steve, Eric Linden, Garden of Eden, Kreationist Klown Museum, fairies, fairy tales, Creationism, Adam and Steve, Adam and Eve

0 comments.

US Considered Building a Gay Bomb

Posted on June 4th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Sighintifik Resurch, Warmongering.

The BBC reports that the US Military considered designing a gay bomb, a weapon that would instantly cause enemy troops to turn gay and be irresistably attracted to one another. High ranking Pentagon officials eventually turned down the proposal.

It seems the weapon that was being considered was expected to have the effect of pacifying enemy forces as well as increasing US exports of Village People and Bette Midler music CDs. After all, we all know that gay men love disco, show tunes and Bette.

Certainly there is no historical precedent for a gay military force, no famous legendary military campaigns were ever led by gay men, and no famous legions of gay soldiers ever made it into the history books – in Kansas.

But let us imagine that the failure on the part of the Pentagon to develop this absolutely fabulous fashion bomb might give our enemies the upper hand by letting them get ahead using a butch team of manly weapons researchers with buff tone and great abs. We might end up with gay bomb size envy.

What if the terr’ists set off a gay bomb in Vatican City? Why it would have no effect at all except for destroying acres of closet space. What about Topeka, Kansas?

By failing to develop this fiendishly clever weapon are we giving Al Qaeda a homosexual agenda cold war advantage? If the terr’ists set off a gay bomb in Washington would Jeff Gannon take over as Chief White House Spokesman?

And what about the sanctity of marriage? I suppose the President and Vice President would have to divorce their wives before they could get married to each other in a gala gay marriage event in the White House Rose Garden.

I think we are leaving ourselves vulnerable to attack! Won’t somebody think of the children?

Technorati Tags: Pentagon, research, Bush, Cheney, gay marriage, gay bomb, BBC, Vatican, Fred Phelps

0 comments.

Poland Investigates Homo Agenda Teletubbies

Posted on May 28th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic.

Jerry Fartwell might be dead, but his brand of astonishing stupidity and boundless intolerance lives on in modern day Poland, a homophobe’s dream nation.

A Polish government official named Ewa Sowinska has asked psychologists to investigate the Teletubbies based on the fact that known homosexual activist Tinky Winky carries a red purse.

Poland is deeply infested with Catholicism, so intolerance and homophobia are to be expected. Fast action is required before Polish infants begin practicing gay sex acts with their Teletubbies crib toys. With the BBC actively recruiting Polish children to adopt the red purse lifestyle, a return to Communism is no doubt just around the corner. They’re all in it together, everybody knows that. We may have to nuke London.

Technorati Tags: Tinky Winky, Teletubbies, BBC, Poland, Polish Government, homosexual agenda, homosexual propaganda, gay infants, Ewa Sowinska, Catholicism

1 comment.

God Hates Mixed Fibers

Posted on May 22nd, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Religious Wingnuts.

A Spanish retail clothing chain has been forced to recall a line of men’s suits because idiotic orthodox Jews got very pissy and whiny over the fact that the clothing was made with a combination of linen and wool. Oh no, run away! These wankers believe that their Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy hates mixed fibers. Not content to just refrain from buying such clothing because God Hates Mixed Fibers, these religious imperialists required the clothing chain to completely remove the offending garments from their stores, denying atheists and other less deluded types the opportunity to buy such items as well.

This case clearly illustrates the sort of problems rampant in all 3 of the abysmally stupid Abrahamic religious delusions. Those afflicted with these idiotic beliefs are not content just to avoid wearing clothing that will get them cast into the eternal hell of fires burning oil stolen from Iraq, they feel a compulsion to force everybody to wear clothing they endorse.

If some Jewish people want to belong to idiotic cults with moronic ideas about fictional deities, good for them. They can delude themselves about anything their hearts desire. We support their right to aspire to stupidity and idiocy. But if they don’t mind very much, I’d prefer to decide which sorts of seafood I eat, clothing I wear, and if it is not too much of an inconvenience for them, I might even wish to decide with whom I will and will not have consensual sex. I’ll even trim the corners of my fucking beard, if it’s not too much of a hassle for them.

It’s no wonder God Hates Fundamentalists.

Technorati Tags: God Hates, mixed fibers, crustaceans, barbers, Orthodox, abraham, dumbass religions

2 comments.

Pope Dictates Policy to Catholic Politicians

Posted on May 9th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-based Legislation, Roman Catholic.

Under the direct threat of ex-communication and withdrawal of wafer-thin slices of Jesus’ meat, Pope Ratzi the Nazi has informed Catholic politicians worldwide that they will be taking orders from him.

Speaking of a case in Mexico, Nazi Ratzi was asked whether he supported Mexican Church regional managers threats to excommunicate leftist parliamentarians who last month voted to legalize abortion in Mexico City. “Yes” replied Nazi Ratzi “this excommunication was not an arbitrary one but is allowed by Canon (church) law.”

This case makes it clear that the world’s richest pedophile organization considers itself above such trivial nuisances as national laws, and it also illustrates the fact that the boy rape racketeering organization seeks to control the actions of politicians afflicted with their especially perverted religious beliefs.

The extent of the authority over local governments claimed by these organized felons extends to other areas too, not just abortion. Catholic Regional Managers, sometimes called bishops, archbishops or cardinals, have also threatened to take away Jesus-meat privileges from any politicians afflicted with Catholicism who vote in favor of any kind of rights for gay people. According to Nazi Ratzi, it is a sin to oppose discrimination against fags and dykes.

In the US we have RICO laws (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act), the members of the world’s largest child sex ring might be very well advised to keep this fact in mind. It could cost them money.

Technorati Tags: Catholic, Ratzi, Nazi, pope, excommunication, abortion, gay rights, pedophilia, RICO

0 comments.

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