Atheist Fag

Insane Pat Robertson Uses Bible to Predict Nukular War

Posted on October 3rd, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Lying Bastards, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, hypocrite evangelists.

Professional Jeebus nutter and assassination afficionado Pat Robertson continues his march into insanity today with a prediction that Israel will conduct a nukular attack on Iran between our election and inauguration days, that Russia will jump into the war, and maybe even a few US cities will be nuked. The insane lover of illegal gun smuggling and proponent of faith-based assassinations claims that his study of Bible fairy tales is the source for his psychic psychotic vision.

Robertson said his opinion was that Israel would bomb Iranian nuclear sites between Nov. 4 and the inauguration of the United States’ new president.

Robertson tied his warning to biblical prophecy. His letter, which starts out describing his concerns about Russian aggression in Georgia, predicted that Russia would also enter the war, though the United States wouldn’t.

(link)

Technorati Tags: Jeebus, Pat Robertson, nukular, prophecy, nukular war, Israel, Iran, Russia, Bible, biblical

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Jeebus Nutter Blames Teh Gayz for Wall Street Crisis

Posted on October 1st, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Lying Bastards, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Sanctity of Bigotry, Stoopit Religions.

A batshit crazy Christian blogger employed by the Christian Civic League of Maine has posted a blog entry claiming that Teh Gayz are responsible for the financial crisis on Wall Street. Usually there has to be at least a half dozen dead bodies laying around before Fundamentalist wingnuts and their Republican stooges begin blaming Teh Gayz. Perhaps Mike Heath was feeling generous, or maybe he just wanted to get his name on the Weird News page.

We will not pollute our MySQL database with a link to this cretins blog post, but it has been discussed at a site we do respect, Pam's House Blend.

Christian Civil League of Maine Executive Director Michael Heath writes that the financial crisis facing Wall Street is a symptom of America's sinful sexual culture, including the acceptance of gay unions.

Our crisis is a symptom, not the cause, I am not saying I know whether this financial crisis is God's judgment or not. It is not for me to know that definitively.

It seems there may be quite a few things that Mr Heath does not know, most important is that his Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy does not even exist. Also there is the fact that Teh Gayz are going to cause his roof to leak, his car to stall, and even ridicule all of the stupid things he says.

And let this be a lesson to Mr Heath never to underestimate the powers of the Homo Agenda!

Technorati Tags: Homo agenda, homosexual agenda, right wingnut, wacko fundie, Christian Civic League of Maine, Mike Heath, Fundamentalist lies, homophobia, irrational fear, irrational loathing, teh gayz

0 comments.

Epic Fail: Bigots for Jebus Lose in Kern County, California

Posted on July 9th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Jeebus Loses Again, Religious Wingnuts, Sanctity of Bigotry.

A bigots for Jebus group, The Campaign for Children and Families, has failed in their pathetically stupid attempt to get the Kern County Commisioners to issue an illegal ban on gay marriage.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Jesus loses AGAIN. If their Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy wasn't so completely fictitious maybe he would be able to do something. But the 2,000 year old fairy tales used to justify their homophobic bigotry are complete and utter fiction, from vengeful genocidal holy war to deity-sponsored rape, it's all just ugly, stupid and make relieve.

Losers.

Supervisors declined to act on the measure after Bernard Barmann, the county's lawyer, said it would be illegal for the county to adopt its own same-sex marriage ban.

Won't anybody think about the bigots?

Technorati Tags: homophobes for Jebus, losers, wankers, morons, Christians, Kern County, Campaign for Children and Families

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Ohio Republican Possibly More Batshit Crazy than Sally Kern

Posted on May 31st, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Party of Jesus, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

An Ohio Party of Jesus legislator may be trying to steal the Batshit Crazy Tiara from famous Oklahoma lunatic Sally Kern.

When someone pushed his crazy response button by mentioning a bill pending in the Ohio legislature that would outlaw discrimination in housing and employment against gays and lesbians, Wagner responded with a typical Fundamentalist Disorder psychotic rant.

“[T]his is a dangerous and misguided bill. The bill is not really about people being denied rights to basic needs, but it is about promoting acceptance of an immoral lifestyle. As much as some people would have us to believe otherwise, this country was founded on Christian principles. One of those long honored principles is the tradition of holy matrimony. One man and one woman joined together in a union that goes as far back as Adam and Eve. As our society has gotten further from that standard (not just homosexuality, but easy divorce, cheating on a spouse, etc.) we see a continued collapse of the basic building block of society the family unit. As that traditional family erodes, we see more sexually transmitted diseases, kids without parents, heartbroken people and I believe a host of mental and physical illnesses. . . . rest assured I can not support a bill in any way promotes or encourages the homosexual lifestyle.”

So apparently this bill, which outlaws denying employment or shelter to people just because they are gay or lesbian, is not about denying employment or shelter to people just because they are gay or lesbian. It must be about promoting divorce, distributing STDs, the Founding Fathers of our great nation, and adultery (which in Ohio is strictly a heterosexual sin, teh geys can not get teh matrimony). Gays are clearly responsible for all of the problems of modern society, including Representative Wagner's mental illness.

It is interesting to note that 100% of the batshit crazy legislators who have a magic button used to produce a psychotic rant, 100% of these loonies are members of the Party of Jesus.

When the Republican Party accepted the marriage proposal, years ago, from the most rabidly right-wing Fundamentalist nutters, they brought insanity into the Party of Jesus candidate gene pool.

As more and more crazy Fundamentalist nutters compete with the likes of Sally Kern, more and more sane human beings are driven away from the Party of Jesus. It seems as if, in the long run, Democracy may win out by giving larger megaphones to the crazy nutters that seek to sow hatred and bigotry into the fabric of our lives. This one is certainly, undeniably a nutter!

Technorati Tags: Jeff Wagner, Party of Jesus, Ohio Legislature, Batshit crazy, Fundamentalist disorder, gay marriage, adultery, divorce, H.B. 502

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UK Cardinal: Atheism is Product of Distorted Christianity

Posted on May 9th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions, editorials.

You can always tell when a religious leader is saying something stupid, just watch their lips to see if they are moving. The UK Regional Profit Manager for the Holy Roman Altar Boy Church, Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor (shown in his best Sunday go to Meeting Dress) has suggested that "modern atheism" is a product of a distorted kind of Christianity." Apparently the Cardinal believes that without Christianity there could be no atheism.

Maybe he means the distorted kind of Christianity in which people that publicly criticize the world's wealthiest pedophile ring are not burnt at the stake. The Cardinal may be longing for the good old days, hundreds of years ago, when the religious options included Catholicism or death.

Atheism, beyond any shadow of a doubt, is the natural state of all living things.

The word atheism combines the prefix 'a', meaning without, with the word theism, meaning a delusional belief in one or more Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy(ies). If you made a nearly infinitely large chart, and you listed all of the gods that have ever been imagined by a human being on the left side, and all of the gods that a newborn baby believes in on the right side, the chart would be empty on the right side. A newborn baby is without any delusional belief in invisible fairies, therefore all babies are born as atheists.

Let us now compare what Cardinal O'Connor calls "modern atheism" with, say, the atheism of a newborn human baby born 27,521 years ago.

The modern atheist does not believe in any Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy. The newborn baby 27,521 years ago also did not believe in any Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy. So far there does not seem to be any difference.

It must be very lonely running the regional profit center for the Church in modern day Britain. The British people are not constantly awash in idiotic Fundamentalist drivel like some other nations. The average man in the street in the UK today has no interest in anything to do with Christianity. Brits really are good at recognizing bullshit when it is being shoveled.

There is one consistent note to every attempt by Christians to denigrate atheism, they must always begin by misrepresenting the definition of the term. Cardinal O'Connor, commenting on Richard Dawkins:

"The interesting question about atheism is what is the theism being denied? Have you ever met anyone who believes what Richard Dawkins does not believe in? The God that is being rejected by such people is a God I don't believe in either."

Here is the interesting answer, the theism that atheists do not believe includes all delusions about all imaginary deities no matter who is being delusional or what they have to say about their delusion. For each and every Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, all atheists everywhere throughout all time do not believe in that delusion. Modern atheists and ancient atheists do not believe in exactly the same number of Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddies - all of them.

So Cardinal O'Connor, whatever color you may think your invisible super pal's beard may be, we do not believe that it exists.

A person that does not believe in any God at all, even the ones that have not been imagined yet, is an atheist.

A person that only disbelieves in a subset of invisible super pals, but who does believe in one or more Special Friend(s) is not an atheist.

No belief in any God = atheism. Belief in more than zero God(s) = theism. We hope this is clear enough that even a professional Catholic can understand it.

Technorati Tags: God-free zone, United Kingdom, UK, Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor, Holy Roman Boy Rape Church, atheism, atheists, Richard Dawkins, atheism, modern atheism

2 comments.

Spanish Woman Poses Nude To Embarrass Mean Uncle Cardinal

Posted on May 6th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Homophobia, Lying Bastards, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions, Uncategorized.

A Spanish mother of two, whose uncle is a neo-fascist Catholic Cardinal pig and friend of the Rat in a Hat, was slighted when her uncle ignored the deaths of both of her parents, refusing to attend their funerals and even offering a bald faced lie as an excuse. Perhaps the parents were not hate-mongering homophobic liars, and Cardinal Antonio María Rouco Varela did not like them for thinking independent thoughts. So she did a photoshoot for a Spanish soft porn magazine, Interviú, just to piss off Uncle Asshole. Ha ha!

Magdalena Rouco Hernández stripped off to embarrass her uncle, who is head of the Spanish Episcopal Conference and also a friend of Pope Benedict XVI [ed: Rat in a Hat].

The mother-of-two posed topless on eight pages of Interviú magazine, whose curious formula consists of generous helpings of female flesh combined with serious investigations.

The 27-year-old, who went to mass every day as a girl, said she chose to do the photoshoot to expose her uncle's "hypocrisy" following her father's death. "My uncle never tires of repeating that the family is sacred and that you have to respect it. But then he does not respect it and abandons his own," she said.

"When my father died, [Rouco] did not come to the funeral, didn't send flowers or tell my mother of his sorrow. He told us he had a meeting with Pope John Paul II, but it was not true.

Who has Family Values? Is it the daughter who loved her parents dearly and later posed in a risque fashion, or is it the Family Values Cardinal who does not even give a shit about his own family.

The Cardinal loves to spread lies and hatred, he is after all a Catholic Cardinal, so he says idiotic things like "gay marriage is the worst disaster in 200 years". No doubt because of the millions of deaths in Spain since gay marriage became legal. Altar boys know that the more a priest complains about homosexuals, the more dresses he has in his closet. I bet the Spanish altar boys don't ever let him get them alone in a corner.

One thing I really do admire very much about Spanish culture is that they do not tolerate fascist pig religious leaders messing with their government. They have learned from experience.

Technorati Tags: Cardinal Antonio María Rouco Varela, Magdalena Rouco Hernández, soft porn, Pope Benedict XVI, Rat in a Hat, Spanish Episcopal Conference, photoshoot, Interviú magazine

1 comment.

Christian Exposes Agenda of National Academy of Sciences

Posted on April 12th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith-based Sighince, Religious Wingnuts, Schools, Sighintifik Resurch, Stoopit Religions.

Christian hogwash author Robert Bowie Johnson Jr is releasing a book that exposes the Satanic hidden agenda of the National Academy of Sciences, a scheme to teach innocent Christian children that they are descended from mere reptiles.

Don't you just love the imaginary harm posed by imaginary threats from the imaginary enemies of their Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy? I sure do.

In the mind of this buffoon, and in millions of other Christian minds, to teach evolution is synonymous with atheism. It's just not a good idea to smoke cheap crack. Among the many thousands upon thousands of Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddies, Imaginary Virgin Sky Mommies, and all of the many other forms of deities people have pretended about over the last million years, certainly there are some that are compatible with evolution. And of course as long as a person believes in just one Tinkerbell or other deity, they are not an atheist.

Christians do themselves a disservice when they incorrectly identify evolution as the principle threat to their fairy tales. In reality all forms of education and science threaten the fragile shell of their crumbling fairy tales.

(story)

Technorati Tags: Christian, creationism, creationist, evolution, National Academy of Science

0 comments.

Arkansas Moves to Protect Sanctity of Marriage from Toddler Agenda

Posted on April 4th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Stoopit Religions.

(Trailer Park, Arkansas) In a bold move designed to Protect the Sanctity of Marriage, a group of Arkansas legislators have closed a loophole that was allowing toddler and pre-school children to marry each other as long as neither party was pregnant. Mostly it is little girl toddlers that get pregnant in Arkansas, though some unusual boys do study ballet and hairdressing.

A 2007 revision of the Arkansas marital code had extended marriage privileges to all heterosexual infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers, and students as long as Mommy or Daddy signed a permission slip. In their mad rush to protect the citizens of Arkansas from adult gay couples that love each other and wish to commit to each other, the legislators forgot to read the bill they had rushed through the legislature by a margin of lots and lots of Jesus.

With elections coming up, legislators all across the Booble Belt are desperately trying to Out-Jesus each other in order to get the Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy client vote, estimated at 93% in Jebus-rich Arkansas. But when news got out last year that they had accidentally Jesused the law incorrectly, the Party of Jesus dominated Arkansas legislature had a bit of Jesus egg on their faces.

Children as young as just born were permitted in the Jesus-modded law until the correction was made this week.

Meanwhile in nearby Oklahoma Sally Kern is expected to comment on the threat posed by the Toddler agenda.

0 comments.

Sally Kern Featured on New Website

Posted on March 15th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Representative Sally Kern (PoJ-OK) seems to have a new website that carries her name. Sally Kern is an Oklahoma State Representative in the Party of Jesus. She hit the news recently when a speech she gave to a group of Party of Jesus faithful was uploaded to the intarweb tubes without her knowledge. The worst part is that they used her own words to make it look like she had said the things she really said. This is just typical of the reality based tactics of the Liberal Media New York Homosexual Conspiracy Press!

We think you should visit SallyKern.com and hear what she has to say.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Jesse Kern, homophobia, homosexual agenda, gay agenda, Oklahoma, gays, terrorists, gays are terrorists

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Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Get Communion in SF

Posted on October 18th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Homophobia, Roman Catholic.

On October 7, 2007 a pair of truly devout ladies received Holy Communion from Archbishop George Niederauer, the regional manager for the San Francisco Profit Center of the Holy Roman Altar Boy Lovin' Church. The ladies were men dressed in nun drag who belong to the righteous and holy gay order, The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

The Bishop, formerly assigned to Salt Lake City, is accustomed to telling malicious lies about queers that know their place and never get uppity. Dealing with the gay crowd in San Francisco, a city where crustacean-based meals and barber shops are flaunted in public, seems like it will be an educational experience for a priest not used to dealing with militant fags. Some shops in San Francisco even sell nuns habits made from mixed fibers!

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, founded in San Francisco in 1979, are known for their white face paint, outrageous costumes, theatrics and support of the gay community. They adopt names such as Sister Chastity Boner and Sister Constance Craving of the Holey Desire and have mottos such as, "It is not wise to say no to free drinks, cheap jewelry, discount cosmetics or pretty boys."

We support The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and have even been blessed by one of the Sisters while visiting the Gay Vatican, also known as The Castro.

Rumor has it that the services of 4 naked altar boys were required before the Archbishop was able to recover his composure, and even then his pretty dress needed to be dry cleaned.

Ha ha!

Technorati Tags: Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco, Castro, Archbishop George Niederauer, Catholic Church, Holy Communion, sacrilege. comedy, guerilla theatre, Ha ha

1 comment.

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