Atheist Fag

UK Cardinal: Atheism is Product of Distorted Christianity

Posted on May 9th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions, editorials.

You can always tell when a religious leader is saying something stupid, just watch their lips to see if they are moving. The UK Regional Profit Manager for the Holy Roman Altar Boy Church, Cardinal Cormac Murphy O’Connor (shown in his best Sunday go to Meeting Dress) has suggested that “modern atheism” is a product of a distorted kind of Christianity.” Apparently the Cardinal believes that without Christianity there could be no atheism.

Maybe he means the distorted kind of Christianity in which people that publicly criticize the world’s wealthiest pedophile ring are not burnt at the stake. The Cardinal may be longing for the good old days, hundreds of years ago, when the religious options included Catholicism or death.

Atheism, beyond any shadow of a doubt, is the natural state of all living things.

The word atheism combines the prefix ‘a’, meaning without, with the word theism, meaning a delusional belief in one or more Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy(ies). If you made a nearly infinitely large chart, and you listed all of the gods that have ever been imagined by a human being on the left side, and all of the gods that a newborn baby believes in on the right side, the chart would be empty on the right side. A newborn baby is without any delusional belief in invisible fairies, therefore all babies are born as atheists.

Let us now compare what Cardinal O’Connor calls “modern atheism” with, say, the atheism of a newborn human baby born 27,521 years ago.

The modern atheist does not believe in any Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy. The newborn baby 27,521 years ago also did not believe in any Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy. So far there does not seem to be any difference.

It must be very lonely running the regional profit center for the Church in modern day Britain. The British people are not constantly awash in idiotic Fundamentalist drivel like some other nations. The average man in the street in the UK today has no interest in anything to do with Christianity. Brits really are good at recognizing bullshit when it is being shoveled.

There is one consistent note to every attempt by Christians to denigrate atheism, they must always begin by misrepresenting the definition of the term. Cardinal O’Connor, commenting on Richard Dawkins:

“The interesting question about atheism is what is the theism being denied? Have you ever met anyone who believes what Richard Dawkins does not believe in? The God that is being rejected by such people is a God I don’t believe in either.”

Here is the interesting answer, the theism that atheists do not believe includes all delusions about all imaginary deities no matter who is being delusional or what they have to say about their delusion. For each and every Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy, all atheists everywhere throughout all time do not believe in that delusion. Modern atheists and ancient atheists do not believe in exactly the same number of Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddies - all of them.

So Cardinal O’Connor, whatever color you may think your invisible super pal’s beard may be, we do not believe that it exists.

A person that does not believe in any God at all, even the ones that have not been imagined yet, is an atheist.

A person that only disbelieves in a subset of invisible super pals, but who does believe in one or more Special Friend(s) is not an atheist.

No belief in any God = atheism. Belief in more than zero God(s) = theism. We hope this is clear enough that even a professional Catholic can understand it.

Technorati Tags: God-free zone, United Kingdom, UK, Cardinal Cormac Murphy O’Connor, Holy Roman Boy Rape Church, atheism, atheists, Richard Dawkins, atheism, modern atheism

1 comment.

Spanish Woman Poses Nude To Embarrass Mean Uncle Cardinal

Posted on May 6th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Homophobia, Lying Bastards, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions, Uncategorized.

A Spanish mother of two, whose uncle is a neo-fascist Catholic Cardinal pig and friend of the Rat in a Hat, was slighted when her uncle ignored the deaths of both of her parents, refusing to attend their funerals and even offering a bald faced lie as an excuse. Perhaps the parents were not hate-mongering homophobic liars, and Cardinal Antonio María Rouco Varela did not like them for thinking independent thoughts. So she did a photoshoot for a Spanish soft porn magazine, Interviú, just to piss off Uncle Asshole. Ha ha!

Magdalena Rouco Hernández stripped off to embarrass her uncle, who is head of the Spanish Episcopal Conference and also a friend of Pope Benedict XVI [ed: Rat in a Hat].

The mother-of-two posed topless on eight pages of Interviú magazine, whose curious formula consists of generous helpings of female flesh combined with serious investigations.

The 27-year-old, who went to mass every day as a girl, said she chose to do the photoshoot to expose her uncle’s “hypocrisy” following her father’s death. “My uncle never tires of repeating that the family is sacred and that you have to respect it. But then he does not respect it and abandons his own,” she said.

“When my father died, [Rouco] did not come to the funeral, didn’t send flowers or tell my mother of his sorrow. He told us he had a meeting with Pope John Paul II, but it was not true.

Who has Family Values? Is it the daughter who loved her parents dearly and later posed in a risque fashion, or is it the Family Values Cardinal who does not even give a shit about his own family.

The Cardinal loves to spread lies and hatred, he is after all a Catholic Cardinal, so he says idiotic things like “gay marriage is the worst disaster in 200 years“. No doubt because of the millions of deaths in Spain since gay marriage became legal. Altar boys know that the more a priest complains about homosexuals, the more dresses he has in his closet. I bet the Spanish altar boys don’t ever let him get them alone in a corner.

One thing I really do admire very much about Spanish culture is that they do not tolerate fascist pig religious leaders messing with their government. They have learned from experience.

Technorati Tags: Cardinal Antonio María Rouco Varela, Magdalena Rouco Hernández, soft porn, Pope Benedict XVI, Rat in a Hat, Spanish Episcopal Conference, photoshoot, Interviú magazine

0 comments.

Christian Exposes Agenda of National Academy of Sciences

Posted on April 12th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith-based Sighince, Religious Wingnuts, Schools, Sighintifik Resurch, Stoopit Religions.

Christian hogwash author Robert Bowie Johnson Jr is releasing a book that exposes the Satanic hidden agenda of the National Academy of Sciences, a scheme to teach innocent Christian children that they are descended from mere reptiles.

Don’t you just love the imaginary harm posed by imaginary threats from the imaginary enemies of their Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy? I sure do.

In the mind of this buffoon, and in millions of other Christian minds, to teach evolution is synonymous with atheism. It’s just not a good idea to smoke cheap crack. Among the many thousands upon thousands of Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddies, Imaginary Virgin Sky Mommies, and all of the many other forms of deities people have pretended about over the last million years, certainly there are some that are compatible with evolution. And of course as long as a person believes in just one Tinkerbell or other deity, they are not an atheist.

Christians do themselves a disservice when they incorrectly identify evolution as the principle threat to their fairy tales. In reality all forms of education and science threaten the fragile shell of their crumbling fairy tales.

(story)

Technorati Tags: Christian, creationism, creationist, evolution, National Academy of Science

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Arkansas Moves to Protect Sanctity of Marriage from Toddler Agenda

Posted on April 4th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Stoopit Religions.

(Trailer Park, Arkansas) In a bold move designed to Protect the Sanctity of Marriage, a group of Arkansas legislators have closed a loophole that was allowing toddler and pre-school children to marry each other as long as neither party was pregnant. Mostly it is little girl toddlers that get pregnant in Arkansas, though some unusual boys do study ballet and hairdressing.

A 2007 revision of the Arkansas marital code had extended marriage privileges to all heterosexual infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers, and students as long as Mommy or Daddy signed a permission slip. In their mad rush to protect the citizens of Arkansas from adult gay couples that love each other and wish to commit to each other, the legislators forgot to read the bill they had rushed through the legislature by a margin of lots and lots of Jesus.

With elections coming up, legislators all across the Booble Belt are desperately trying to Out-Jesus each other in order to get the Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy client vote, estimated at 93% in Jebus-rich Arkansas. But when news got out last year that they had accidentally Jesused the law incorrectly, the Party of Jesus dominated Arkansas legislature had a bit of Jesus egg on their faces.

Children as young as just born were permitted in the Jesus-modded law until the correction was made this week.

Meanwhile in nearby Oklahoma Sally Kern is expected to comment on the threat posed by the Toddler agenda.

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Sally Kern Featured on New Website

Posted on March 15th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Representative Sally Kern (PoJ-OK) seems to have a new website that carries her name. Sally Kern is an Oklahoma State Representative in the Party of Jesus. She hit the news recently when a speech she gave to a group of Party of Jesus faithful was uploaded to the intarweb tubes without her knowledge. The worst part is that they used her own words to make it look like she had said the things she really said. This is just typical of the reality based tactics of the Liberal Media New York Homosexual Conspiracy Press!

We think you should visit SallyKern.com and hear what she has to say.

Technorati Tags: Sally Kern, Jesse Kern, homophobia, homosexual agenda, gay agenda, Oklahoma, gays, terrorists, gays are terrorists

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Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Get Communion in SF

Posted on October 18th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Homophobia, Roman Catholic.

On October 7, 2007 a pair of truly devout ladies received Holy Communion from Archbishop George Niederauer, the regional manager for the San Francisco Profit Center of the Holy Roman Altar Boy Lovin’ Church. The ladies were men dressed in nun drag who belong to the righteous and holy gay order, The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

The Bishop, formerly assigned to Salt Lake City, is accustomed to telling malicious lies about queers that know their place and never get uppity. Dealing with the gay crowd in San Francisco, a city where crustacean-based meals and barber shops are flaunted in public, seems like it will be an educational experience for a priest not used to dealing with militant fags. Some shops in San Francisco even sell nuns habits made from mixed fibers!

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, founded in San Francisco in 1979, are known for their white face paint, outrageous costumes, theatrics and support of the gay community. They adopt names such as Sister Chastity Boner and Sister Constance Craving of the Holey Desire and have mottos such as, “It is not wise to say no to free drinks, cheap jewelry, discount cosmetics or pretty boys.”

We support The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, and have even been blessed by one of the Sisters while visiting the Gay Vatican, also known as The Castro.

Rumor has it that the services of 4 naked altar boys were required before the Archbishop was able to recover his composure, and even then his pretty dress needed to be dry cleaned.

Ha ha!

Technorati Tags: Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco, Castro, Archbishop George Niederauer, Catholic Church, Holy Communion, sacrilege. comedy, guerilla theatre, Ha ha

1 comment.

Humans Unite Against Rush Limblob

Posted on October 2nd, 2007 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Faith-Based Invasions, editorials.

A coalition of human beings is presenting a united front against the right wing hatemongering liar and uber idiot Rush Limblob in reaction to his recent shameless attack on US veterans exercising the freedom of speech they have defended.

Limblob attacked a caller to his moronic talk radio program when the gentleman suggested many Iraq war veterans were opposed to the continuing futile imperialist adventure.

The closest Limblob has ever been to a war was the war on drugs, and he was on the wrong side then just like he is now.

But now real soldiers who have really been to Iraq and really seen the horrors brought on by the Bush/Vader war machine are speaking out, so Limblob calls them fake soldiers.

Shup up, Limblob, and listen to the human beings for a change.

Technorati Tags: Fake soldiers, Rush Limbaugh, Neo-conservative, pacck of lies, Iraq, Imperialism

0 comments.

Activist Homophobes Seek Ouster of Naughty Iowa Judge

Posted on September 12th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

A group of outraged activist homophobes for Jebus is demanding the ouster of Iowa District Court Judge Robert Hanson. His Honor correctly ruled that selecting a group of people that will be denied equal rights under the law is unconstitutional. Stupid too, not the judges ruling, the Fundies.

Nothing makes a Fundie hatemonger more angry than the threat of gay people obtaining equal rights. It often causes Fundamentalist Homophobe Fear of a Queer Planet Syndrome, a dangerous condition that can lead to panty wadding, loss of Marital Sanctity, and idiotic blathering about a vicious, spiteful God of Love destroying corn silos in a violent temper tantrum.

For many years to come there will be pissing and moaning and preposterous claims of nonspecific harm that are obviously ridiculous. There will be vague warnings of dire consequences that never come to pass. There will be TV evangelists threatening Iowa with natural disasters. Self-loathing Catholic priests will complain about equal rights for gay people. Obnoxious Repugnican candidates will promise to protect fools from imaginary harm.

And in the end there will be gay marriages in Iowa. And the Baby Jesus will cry so much he’ll drown in his own super-power miracle tears. Poor Baby Jesus, all he ever wanted was bigotry, deceit, and intolerance.

Get your daily dose of Fundie stupidity here.

Technorati Tags: Iowa, Activist Judge, Robert Hanson, gay marriage, equal rights, equality, homophobia, Republican, Jesus, Queer Planet

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Failed Would-Be Lawyer Drops Lawsuit Over Bar Exam

Posted on September 8th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, editorials.

A Massachusetts man afflicted with a severe case of Catholicism has dropped his blatantly idiotic lawsuit over the bar exam he failed for refusing to answer a question about gay marriage law because he is a stupid homophobic wanker.

Stephen Dunne bravely refused to answer an evil Satanic bar exam question that referred to the dreadfully scary existence of gay people. He then made the preposterous claim that answering the test question would have violated his Catholic faith and his First Amendment rights, because it would imply his support of gay marriage and parenting.  This man actually intended to be an attorney at law, but he seemed to have a prerequisite that the State of Massachusetts stick its head in the sand along with him and pretend, ever so intensely, that there really are no gay people at all.

Mr Dunne seems to prefer a society in which ancient superstitions are used as the basis for civil law. He apparently requires a social structure in which the most popular religious delusion in the local area is forced into the laws that apply to everyone. Perhaps he might enjoy Saudi Arabia or Iran, in those countries the idiotic religion IS the law.

Technorati Tags: Stephen Dunne, homophobia, Catholic Church, bar exam, Massachusetts, stupid wanker, useless idiot, fucking moron

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Republican Comedian Craig Guilty, Not Guilty, Resigning, Not Resigning

Posted on September 6th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Court Cases, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-Based Self Loathing, Homophobia, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

Your favorite Republican stand-up comic, US Senator Larry Craig, has issued a denial of his denial that he is not resigning as a non-guilty, guilty pervo Repugnican toilet seat sniffer. He claims that he never inhaled.

“I never had sex with that police officer,” Craig roared to a standing room only crowd at the Boise Improv last night. The Boise Chamber of Commerce reports that hotel rooms and inbound airline seats to the Idaho capital have been hard to get since Craig started his twice nightly standup routine. Tickets on flights routed through Minneapolis are simply impossible to obtain.

Nightly performances take place on a specially constructed set with 4 urinals and 3 adjacent bathroom stalls. The scantily clad Senator gets the crowd roaring early in each set with his patented “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay” as he stares at his police officer straight man assistant. In his International Male jock strap and leather chaps the 62 year old Senator has become an iconic sex object in the Idaho gay community.

Certain Hollywood insiders close to this column have let slip an unconfirmed rumor that the Senator will be doing a comedy/variety show on Fox TV next season, featuring guests from the Log Cabin Republicans and various Colorado Springs churches and hate groups.

As Craig continues to perform to sold out crowds at the Boise Improv, the favorite part of his act seems to be the way he keeps saying “Guilty”, then turns his head the other way and says “Not Guilty.”

Concerns have been expressed that his nearly nude appearance onstage might weaken Family Values in Idaho, but Craig responded by repeating his trademark line “I’m not gay, I’ve never been gay”. Craig lives just outside Boise in his own Private Idaho.

Technorati Tags: Comedy, Party of Jesus, Larry Craig, Senator Fag, I’m not gay, Family Values, Idaho, guilty, not guilty, resigning, not resigning, toilet sex, US Senate

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