Atheist Fag

Lutheran Leaders Assault the Sanctity of Bigotry

Posted on August 22nd, 2009 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, editorials, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Party of Jesus, Sanctity of Bigotry.

The whatchamahoozie central steering committee, or whatever it is called, of the Lutheran Church in the United States has like, totally destroyed the Sanctity of Bigotry by deciding to let known, practicing homosexuals act as church-sanctioned clergy persons. Won’t anybody think of the poor little bigots? How can they be holier than fags if their preacher is a fag?!?!?!? I mean WTF?

If Lutherans are not going to hate fags can they still claim to be Christians?

The worst part of it is that they had their convention in Minneapolis, the home state of America’s craziest bigoted US Congresswoman, Michelle “Death Panels” Bachmann. We wonder what she thinks of this shameful suggestion that fags should be treated as if they were actual people.

The next thing you know these gol darn Lutherans will be saying poor people should have medical coverage!

Technorati Tags: Lutherans, gay clergy, Minneapolis, Michelle Bachmann, gays, homosexuals, Sanctity of Bigotry

2 comments.

Catholic News Agency Says Cancer Cure from Virgin Mary

Posted on January 24th, 2009 by Ungodly.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith-based Sighince, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions.

An Italian Catholic news agency, Zenit, has published reports of an alleged cancer cure with the uncontested claim that this supposed medical treatment is sponsored by the mythical Virgin Mary.

The report, by the English Catholic journalist Edward Pentin, conspicuously fails to explain precisely how this tumour-reducing drug works, and repeats utterly meaningless “research findings”. However the company making money from Catholics, who are obviously predisposed to believe things in the absence of evidence, offers the following bullshit in lieu of medical information.

CellAdam works by breaking down a shield that is preventing cancer cells from communicating with the body’s natural immune system, allowing it to kill the cancer cells. “It is putting back your immune system into balance,” explains Beke, “assisting your immune system to cure the cancer, enhancing your own system to be natural and letting a natural process take over a sick body.” Certain cells react better than others to the drug, such as breast, lung and large intestinal cancer cells, melanoma malignum and certain types of obstetric tumours. But even large tumours can be blocked by CellAdam, claims Biostemworld.

It’s [sic] best track record, however, is as a cancer prevention therapy. When used as a dietary supplement, it works by building up the body’s adult stem cell count. Stem cells can decrease by as much as 80% in the course of a lifetime, leading to signs of ageing, a weakened immune system, and diseases such as cancer. With CellAdam and its other nature-based drugs, Biostemworld claims it can restore that count by as much as 75%, exceeding a similar product in California by 50%. Not only do they prevent cancer, but other diseases too.

The clever marketing ploy these cons are using to fleece the sheeple seems to be a unique blend of New Age I’ll-believe-anything mumbo jumbo with the well established gullibility of those already afflicted with religious delusions about invisible super virgin faerie mothers that live in the sky.

What if the folks who developed this miracle cure were offering you a chance to get in on the ground floor of this “unique Business Opportunity“? Now do you believe that the Virgin Mary is cashing in sponsoring this breakthrough?

(source)

Technorati Tags: Miracle, miraculous, marian apparition, medical fraud, business opportunity, Zenit, biostemworld, cellAdam, sheeple, gullibility, Catholic, Virgin Mary

1 comment.

Vatican Opposes Stem Cell Research, Nobody Cares

Posted on December 14th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Priest Rape, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions.

The Holy Roman Altar Boy Rape Corporation has reaffirmed their opposition to stem cell research. The organization that has achieved worldwide fame for massive coverups of child molesting priests also indicated that in vitro fertilization is very, very naughty because the parish priest does not get to fantasize about a couple he married doing it.

In a stunning show of nearly human compassion, however, the world’s largest superstitious cult based corporation indicated people might not burn in hell for all time just for adopting an embryo. I bet a lot of fertility doctors issued a huge sigh of relief over that ruling!

The official eunuch, or at least celibate, spokesperson (altar boys don’t count) for the Rat in a Hat, a little gnomish looking creep named Monsignor Elio Sgreccia also indicated that women who take the drug RU-486 after being raped, or even molested by their parish priest, are committing a “gravely immoral act”.

Nobody seemed to care very much what these shriveled up old men in Rome had to say. No abortion clinics or fertility clinics shut down overnight. No doctors or scientists seemed to abandon their careers or decide to stop helping people.

Mostly it was just a bunch of noise from shriveled up creeps living lives of extreme luxury with billions of dollars collected from poor people afflicted with religious delusions. Meh.

Technorati Tags: Holy Roman Altar Boy Corporation, Monsignor Elio Sgreccia, Vatican, Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Rat in a Hat, Nazi Ratzi, Donum Vitae, morning-after pill, stem cell research, in-vitro fertilization

0 comments.

Jeebus Industry Leader Forced To Resign For Not Hating Gays

Posted on December 12th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Homophobia, hypocrite evangelists, Religious Wingnuts, Sanctity of Bigotry, Stoopit Religions.

Rev. Richard Cizik, a long time Jeebus Industry leader, has been forced to resign his position as the VP of Church and State Theocracy at the National Association of Evangelicals. His crime, one that is considered extremely serious in the Jeebus Industry, was a public statement suggesting that known, practicing homosexuals should have some rights. Not equal rights, just civil unions, sort of like the back of the bus for queers.

In the Jeebus Industry in the United States it is absolutely not acceptable to suggest that gay persons should be treated with anything except expensive campaigns of smears and malicious lies used to deny equal rights under the law. While civil unions are not equal to marriage, it is hardly malicious to suggest that gays should have some sort of civil rights, thus the huge uproar. Plus to make it even worse he made these comments on the ultra liberal commie heathen evolutionist radio network NPR!

Besides the sinful support of some sort of recognition of gay couples, Reverend Cizik also offended Jeebus Industry customers by admitting in public that he had voted for Barack Hussein Obama, a man who many Jeebus Industry customers consider to be a muslim that pals around with terr’ists.

Clearly Cizik failed miserably when it comes to hating all of the right people. This is why he had to go, for failure to meet minimum levels of pious intolerance and hatred. Must support Bigotry!

Technorati Tags: Cizik, Evangelicals, Homophobia, gay marriage, civil unions, NPR, Jeebus Industry

0 comments.

Jesus H Christ Talks About H8te

Posted on December 3rd, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Court Cases, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Mor[m]ons, Religious Wingnuts, Sanctity of Bigotry, Special Rights, Stoopit Religions.

In this video the children’s fairy tale character Jesus H Christ has a few words to say about what is forbidden and what is allowed in the lunatic anthology of crazy rants known as the Holy Bible.

Buy your Jeebus ≠ H8te merchandise at Jeebus Biz

Technorati Tags: Jesus, Christ, Jesus H Christ, Bible, California, H8te, Proposition 8, Proposition H8te, Mor[m]ons, equal rights, gay marriage, same-sex marriage, Sanctiity of Bigotry

0 comments.

German Creates Tasteless Chocolate Jesus: White Chocolate

Posted on November 30th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Jesus Candy, Jesus' Penis, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions.

A German man has become persona non gratis with many Jeebus-Industry businesses like the Catholic Church because he is offering for sale White Chocolate Jesus candies for the holidays. The German Protestant Church has criticized the idea as “tasteless” and the Roman Catholic Church was also not very much amused.

Of course we agree to the extent that all white chocolate is essentially tasteless, unless you like a mix of sugar and milk. Any sensible man would surely use fine Belgian dark chocolate for a Jesus themed confection, after all Jesus was definitely not white. But the complaints of the Jeebus Industry are not really related to the unwise use of white chocolate to make really boring candy, they are upset because they are not getting royalties for use of the Jesus character they originally invented 1900 years ago.

The copyrights on a fairy tale really only do last for so long, and once it falls into the public domain anyone can cash in on a popular fairy tale, even if they do not try to conceal the fact that they are only in it for the money.

Frank Oynhausen set up his “Sweet Lord” chocolate Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany.

“I started thinking about how I could reintroduce traditional religious values into this commercial world,” said Oynhausen, who had been unemployed since losing a recycling business two years ago.

So Herr Oynhausen wants to restore “Traditional Values” which obviously include the sacred act of eating Jesus, and it is just a coincidence that he is out of work and really needs the cash.

If you believe that, you probably also believe that the Pope collects money so that he can give it to the poor.

But seriously the only good Chocolate Jesus is a 71% cocoa mass Dark Chocolate Jesus. If Santa Claus brings me a White Chocolate Jesus I’m throwing a temper tantrum. And I want the genuine anatomically correct version including a Chocolate Jesus Penis too.

As Homer Simpson would say “Mmmmmm, Chocolate Jeebus”

Technorati Tags: 71% cocoa, Chocolate Jesus, Dark Chocolate, Frank Oynhausen, Jesus’ Penis, War on Christmas, White Chocolate

2 comments.

Super Moron Talks About Our War with Iran

Posted on November 2nd, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Imperialist wars, Party of Jesus, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans.

The most famous moron in America is in the news again, and fortunately this tale of extreme stupidity broke before most people have voted.

There is still time to view this brief YouTube video, reconfirm what you already know about how mind-numbingly stupid she is, then adjust your activity in the polling booth accordingly. Here is the dumbest candidate running for a national elected office this year, the woman that wants to run the Senate with her foreign policy expertise, talking about our current wars in Iraq and Iran.

Technorati Tags: stupid, Republican, moron, Jesus, idiot, FemBush, retard, Palin, numbskull, Iran, war, Iraq, Jeebus

0 comments.

Is Proposition 8 All about Bigotry?

Posted on October 27th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, Lying Bastards, Mor[m]ons, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Roman Catholic, Sanctity of Bigotry, Special Rights, Stoopit Religions.

Some very nice people we know and treasure have taken the time to create a revised Proposition 8 video that has all references to “gay marriage” changed to “inter-racial marriage”. Thanks to our friends at Skepchick and the Skeptics Guide to the Universe Forum!

Don’t give Special Rights to bigots that would let them decide who is good and who is bad. Equal = Equal.

Vote NO on Proposition 8!

Thank you very much

Technorati Tags: YouTube, Proposition 8, gay marriage, bigotry, christianity, holy hatred, jeebus, jesus, who would jeebus hate, protectmarriage.com, skepchick.org, homophobia, churches, intolerance, religion, Sanctity of Bigotry

1 comment.

Jeebus Industry Attacks Obama with Idiotic Faith-Based Claims

Posted on October 26th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: child rape, Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Homophobia, hypocrite evangelists, Lying Bastards, Party of Jesus, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Sanctity of Bigotry, Stoopit Religions.

The Colorado hate group Fascist Pigs of the Family, founded by the bloated oinker James Dobson, has released some new smears against President-to-be-Elected Obama in their desperation to keep the Party of Jesus in power. Desperate is quite accurate in describing the latest ridiculous propaganda to foam from the mouth of Dobson. Among the preposterous fear mongering claims made by the power hungry multi-millionaire is one predicting young boys will be forced to sleep in tents with gay scoutmasters if Obama is elected.

A 6-3 liberal majority Supreme Court that results in rulings like one making gay marriage the law of the land and another forcing the Boy Scouts to “hire homosexual scoutmasters and allow them to sleep in tents with young boys.” (In the imagined scenario, The Boy Scouts choose to disband rather than obey).

If ever a man has made a rewarding career out of homophobia, certainly it is oinker Dobson.

Definitions of HOMOPHOBIA on the Web:

• Literally an uncontrollable fear of homosexuals and of homosexuality, but the term is generally used for a negative and contemptuous attitude to …
  bitbucket.icaap.org/dict.pl
• The fear of homosexuality as expressed by demeaning images in media texts.
  www.medialit.org/reading_room/article565.html
• Just as individual people can be racial, ethnic or religious bigots, individuals can be homophobes or can suffer from homophobia. Homophobia is the irrational fear of gay people or any behaviour, belief or attitude in self or others which doesn’t conform to rigid sex-role stereotypes. …
  www.equity.qut.edu.au/issues/sexuality/definitions.jsp
• An aggravated form of heterosexism. Fear of homosexuality.
  www.publiceye.org/glossary/glossary_big.html
• The fear of homosexuals, or people thought to be lesbian, gay, or bisexual. This term is at the root of prejudice and discrimination based on an individual’s sexual orientation.
  www.culturalpartnerships.org/productspubs/glossary.asp

The likelihood that President Barack Obama will actually seek to promote the rape of pure little white Christian virgin boys by very large homosexual darkly-complected overweight black scoutmasters seems fairly low to this observer. But what do I know? I don’t even support the Sanctity of Bigotry!

The level of desperation currently being seen in the Religious Reich indicates quite clearly that they know the party is over. Their beloved Moron in Chief will soon be out of office, and he will be replaced with a man of intelligence, knowledge, judgment and sensibility. This leaves them with nothing to manipulate, and they hate that.

Fortunately there are many voters in this country that do not believe Obama intends to bring about the organized rape of young children. And as the wailing, crying, ridiculous claims of completely imaginary harm become more shrill, the power base of fascist pigs like Dobson will continue to decline.

Maybe someday Dobson will realize that Jeebus thinks he’s a jerk.

Technorati Tags: Jeebus, Jesus, Dobson, homophobia, James Dobson, Fascists of the Family, desperation, lies, propaganda, Party of Jesus

0 comments.

Fundamentalist Wingnuts Claim Obama Using Witchcraft

Posted on October 22nd, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Demoncrats, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Lying Bastards, Party of Jesus, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Stoopit Religions.

A number of amazingly stupid and dangerously delusional Jeebus nutters are circulating preposterous and obviously false claims that tribal relatives of Barack Obama in Kenya are using witchcraft against Senator John McBush and his sidekick FemBush in an effort to advance the cause of the fictional boogeyman Satan by bringing about the election of Senator Barack Obama.

There are plenty of people, especially in America, who are dumb enough to believe this ridiculous bullshit. We call these people Republicans. Here is some of the utterly ridiculous crap these fucktards actually believe.

[ED:Original quote removed at request of commenter below, please follow the link and form your own opinions]

(warning, this link leads to complete insanity)

It is time for this country to stop giving a default reaction of respect to the malicious lies spread by these hatemongers under the cover of religious pretense. These people are not interested in spirituality, they just want to invent any old kind of obviously preposterous racist crap to justify the bigotry that runs so deeply in them they consider it sacred and holy.

This is the face of Fundamentalism when you strip off the pretty dress and look at what is really inside. It is a desperate form of intolerance that will grab at anything, no matter how enormously stupid and completely ridiculous, if it just serves the cause of their limitless bigotry, racism, sexism and homophobia.

Let the Fundamentalist wingnuts have the Republican Party, let it go up in smoke. Let them suffer the defeat and humiliation they so richly and utterly deserve. Witchcraft will not be required, just look at what they do, and listen to what they say. By their words shall ye know them.

Technorati Tags: Wingnuts, Fundamentalists, Witchcraft, Obama, Kenya, Flo Ellers, African Witchcraft, Odinga, stupidity, McCain, Palin, FemBush, McBush, Satan

5 comments.

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