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Posted on May 6th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Faith Based Bigotry, Faith-Based Hypocrisy, Holy Roman Child Rape Church, Homophobia, Lying Bastards, Religious Fraud, Religious Wingnuts, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions, Uncategorized.
A Spanish mother of two, whose uncle is a neo-fascist Catholic Cardinal pig and friend of the Rat in a Hat, was slighted when her uncle ignored the deaths of both of her parents, refusing to attend their funerals and even offering a bald faced lie as an excuse. Perhaps the parents were not hate-mongering homophobic liars, and Cardinal Antonio María Rouco Varela did not like them for thinking independent thoughts. So she did a photoshoot for a Spanish soft porn magazine, Interviú, just to piss off Uncle Asshole. Ha ha!
Magdalena Rouco Hernández stripped off to embarrass her uncle, who is head of the Spanish Episcopal Conference and also a friend of Pope Benedict XVI [ed: Rat in a Hat].
The mother-of-two posed topless on eight pages of Interviú magazine, whose curious formula consists of generous helpings of female flesh combined with serious investigations.
The 27-year-old, who went to mass every day as a girl, said she chose to do the photoshoot to expose her uncle’s “hypocrisy” following her father’s death. “My uncle never tires of repeating that the family is sacred and that you have to respect it. But then he does not respect it and abandons his own,” she said.
“When my father died, [Rouco] did not come to the funeral, didn’t send flowers or tell my mother of his sorrow. He told us he had a meeting with Pope John Paul II, but it was not true.
Who has Family Values? Is it the daughter who loved her parents dearly and later posed in a risque fashion, or is it the Family Values Cardinal who does not even give a shit about his own family.
The Cardinal loves to spread lies and hatred, he is after all a Catholic Cardinal, so he says idiotic things like “gay marriage is the worst disaster in 200 years“. No doubt because of the millions of deaths in Spain since gay marriage became legal. Altar boys know that the more a priest complains about homosexuals, the more dresses he has in his closet. I bet the Spanish altar boys don’t ever let him get them alone in a corner.
One thing I really do admire very much about Spanish culture is that they do not tolerate fascist pig religious leaders messing with their government. They have learned from experience.
Technorati Tags: Cardinal Antonio María Rouco Varela, Magdalena Rouco Hernández, soft porn, Pope Benedict XVI, Rat in a Hat, Spanish Episcopal Conference, photoshoot, Interviú magazine

Posted on March 30th, 2007 by Fagnit.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy.
Folks around New York City seemed to be having hissy fits, as if they were homo libruls or something, when word got out on Friday March 30, 2007 of plans to display an anatomically sacred Nude Chocolate Jesus.
I mean, what the heck? We bet you can’t lick Jesus just once! Was it the milk in the chocolate, maybe it was PETA getting upset about the way that the chocolate cows were treated.
I mean, we assume the fuss is not about the fact that Jesus’ naked penis was chocolate-colored, much as one might imagine that the penis of a man of African descent might be. We are not suggesting that this is about racism. When you run out of altar boys, eat a Chocolate Jesus, he’s loaded with anti-oxidants, and you won’t get arrested like Father O’Flaherty did. You can buy your own Chocolate Jesus too.
And there are other precedents for a Chocolate Jesus, check out YouTube for proof.
Chocolate Jesus
Well, i don’t go to church on sunday
Don’t get on my knees to pray
Don’t memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way
I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
I fall down on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lee’s candy store
Well, it’s got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied
Well, i don’t want no abba zabba
Don’t want no almond joy
There ain’t nothing better
Suitable for this boy
Well, it’s the only thing that can pick me up
It’s better than a cup of gold
See, only a chocolate jesus
Can satisfy my soul
When the weather gets rough and it’s whiskey in the shade
It’s best to wrap your savior up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy but that’s okay
Pour him over ice cream for a nice parfait
Well, it’s got to be a chocolate jesus
Good enough for me
Got to be a chocolate jesus
It’s good enough for me
And it’s got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel so good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied
Written by: Kathleen Brennan and Tom Waits
Chocolate Jesus, melts in your mouth, not on the Cross. Still, I can’t help wondering if he had a nice one or not. Bet you can’t suck it just once.
Technorati Tags: blasphemy, sacrilege, Chocolate Jesus, penis,
