Atheist Fag

German Creates Tasteless Chocolate Jesus: White Chocolate

Posted on November 30th, 2008 by Ungodly.
Categories: Christian Candy, Comedy, Dumbass Religions, Jesus Candy, Jesus' Penis, Roman Catholic, Stoopit Religions.

A German man has become persona non gratis with many Jeebus-Industry businesses like the Catholic Church because he is offering for sale White Chocolate Jesus candies for the holidays. The German Protestant Church has criticized the idea as "tasteless" and the Roman Catholic Church was also not very much amused.

Of course we agree to the extent that all white chocolate is essentially tasteless, unless you like a mix of sugar and milk. Any sensible man would surely use fine Belgian dark chocolate for a Jesus themed confection, after all Jesus was definitely not white. But the complaints of the Jeebus Industry are not really related to the unwise use of white chocolate to make really boring candy, they are upset because they are not getting royalties for use of the Jesus character they originally invented 1900 years ago.

The copyrights on a fairy tale really only do last for so long, and once it falls into the public domain anyone can cash in on a popular fairy tale, even if they do not try to conceal the fact that they are only in it for the money.

Frank Oynhausen set up his "Sweet Lord" chocolate Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany.

"I started thinking about how I could reintroduce traditional religious values into this commercial world," said Oynhausen, who had been unemployed since losing a recycling business two years ago.

So Herr Oynhausen wants to restore "Traditional Values" which obviously include the sacred act of eating Jesus, and it is just a coincidence that he is out of work and really needs the cash.

If you believe that, you probably also believe that the Pope collects money so that he can give it to the poor.

But seriously the only good Chocolate Jesus is a 71% cocoa mass Dark Chocolate Jesus. If Santa Claus brings me a White Chocolate Jesus I'm throwing a temper tantrum. And I want the genuine anatomically correct version including a Chocolate Jesus Penis too.

As Homer Simpson would say "Mmmmmm, Chocolate Jeebus"

Technorati Tags: 71% cocoa, Chocolate Jesus, Dark Chocolate, Frank Oynhausen, Jesus' Penis, War on Christmas, White Chocolate

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