Atheist Fag

Arkansas Moves to Protect Sanctity of Marriage from Toddler Agenda

Posted on April 4th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Comedy, Faith-based Legislation, Homophobia, Religious Wingnuts, Repugnicans, Stoopit Religions.

(Trailer Park, Arkansas) In a bold move designed to Protect the Sanctity of Marriage, a group of Arkansas legislators have closed a loophole that was allowing toddler and pre-school children to marry each other as long as neither party was pregnant. Mostly it is little girl toddlers that get pregnant in Arkansas, though some unusual boys do study ballet and hairdressing.

A 2007 revision of the Arkansas marital code had extended marriage privileges to all heterosexual infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers, and students as long as Mommy or Daddy signed a permission slip. In their mad rush to protect the citizens of Arkansas from adult gay couples that love each other and wish to commit to each other, the legislators forgot to read the bill they had rushed through the legislature by a margin of lots and lots of Jesus.

With elections coming up, legislators all across the Booble Belt are desperately trying to Out-Jesus each other in order to get the Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy client vote, estimated at 93% in Jebus-rich Arkansas. But when news got out last year that they had accidentally Jesused the law incorrectly, the Party of Jesus dominated Arkansas legislature had a bit of Jesus egg on their faces.

Children as young as just born were permitted in the Jesus-modded law until the correction was made this week.

Meanwhile in nearby Oklahoma Sally Kern is expected to comment on the threat posed by the Toddler agenda.

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