Atheist Fag

Our Glorious Christian Leader Vetoes Anti-Torture Bill

Posted on March 8th, 2008 by Fagnit.
Categories: Our Glorious Christian Leader, Repugnicans, faith-based torture, waterboarding.

In the fine tradition of compassionate conservatives that fundamentally follow Jeebus, Our Glorious Christian Leader has vetoed a bill that would have outlawed torture. Which bills would Jeebus veto? Would Jeebus be disappointed if torture was illegal? Or does Jeebus only hate torture if the person doing the torture is a foreigner?

We all agree that it is morally wrong for our enemies to torture their prisoners. The US Government has often criticized the practice of torture as conducted by small dictatorships. Among the many reasons often used as a la carte rationalizations of the illegal invasion of Iraq is the fact that Saddam Hussein was torturing his own citizens. Any civilized nation would naturally reserve torture for foreigners.

Maybe Our Glorious Christian Leader would be willing to sign a bill that outlaws torturing just Americans, but not foreigners. Of course, on the other hand, maybe he would veto such a bill too.

Usually when Our Glorious Christian Leader vetoes a bill that would outlaw torture he says stuff like "We don't torture" which is probably just as true as everything else that he says on the subject. Still, I'm not sure if he used that line this time. I'm still waiting to hear him say "We don't torture, that's why we vetoed this bill. Because it would outlaw torture. We don't torture, but this bill would interfere with our ability to collect information."

Our President who frequently says we don't torture did say

"The bill Congress sent me would take away one of the most valuable tools in the war on terror"

Only the Party of Jesus is ready to defend your right to be tortured, and they'll torture you if they have to in order to Protect Freedom™!

Maybe we need a faith-based torture program, we could ask people how much they love Jeebus now as we increase their height, or give them swimming lessons while they are laying on their backs. We could call the new faith-based torture program some snappy name, like the Spanish Questioning or the Spanish Enhanced Interrogation Technique. I hear they have lots of faith-based interview technique training manuals in Rome at that little nation state with the guys in dresses.

We could have a new federal agency that handles "interviews", the BEI (Bureau of Enhanced Interrogations). Why it's a whole new industry.

How much safer does Our Glorious Christian Leader make you feel?

Technorati Tags: torture, Bush, veto, waterboarding, Our Glorious Christian Leader, faith based initiatives

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